Intern #1: Yeah, well… my dog isn't like the nicest person ever.
Intern #2: Yeah… Mine isn't either.

Jersey City, New Jersey

Overheard by: still wondering if they were serious.

Shoe store girl #1: You look tired all the time.
Shoe store girl #2: Well, I think it’s my allergies. I’m allergic to cats and I like to rub mine on my face all the time.
Shoe store girl #1: Oh.

Northgate Mall
Seattle, Washington

Office jokester: If one person calls you a jackass, that's their opinion. If ten people call you a jackass, get a saddle.
Office dullard: What's a saddle?

Cooper City, Florida

Overheard by: Knows what a saddle is

Editor: I don't think the parallel between origami and dead chicken is made well enough.

Austin, Texas

Cubicle dweller: It's better in my head because I'm picturing the elephants.

New Orleans, Louisiana

Overheard by: Jeremy

Female coworker on phone: Is that 'k' as in 'cat'?

Independence, Missouri

Office guy, complaining about his recent camping trip: Bears may do that in the woods, but Alex* does not.

Springdale, Arkansas

Woman arguing on phone with husband: Calm down, please. I'm sending you a picture of a funny cat. Go look at the cat.


Office peon on phone: … It’s almost like you’re putting the monkey before the horse.

S. Lima Street
Englewood, Colorado

Coworker to another, during lunch: Would you know a maggot if you saw one?

Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Glad they didn't bring anything back for me.