Wife, browsing through movies: Well, how about The Midnight Meat Train?
Husband: Your mom rides the midnight meat train.
Video Rental Store
New York City, New York
Overheard by: jb
Boyfriend to girlfriend: I can't get an elephant tattooed on my ass, elephants are really big.
Girlfriend: People have solar systems tattooed on them, and those things are fucking huge.
Mahwah, New Jersey
Loud female boss behind office door: Well, it's happened four times now. You obviously don't find me attractive anymore.
Boss' husband, on speakerphone: I don't control it! I simply submit requests!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Old lady to husband: She's about 85 years old, ya know? She dresses like a teenager, but she's real small… and perky.
Hotel Lobby
Michigan
28-year-old coworker, on 24-year-old boyfriend: I'm totally a cougar.
Washington, DC
Old lady to husband as she walks out of doctor's office: Oh, I love to smell that alcohol!
Longwood Ave
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: smellslikemartinis
Woman: So, when people take an Alaskan Cruise, do they go to the west coast of Alaska?
Man: Yeah…I think so.
Chicago, Illinois
Coworker on phone with husband: Be careful with that thing. Once you get it up you can't get it back down.
Hopkinsville, Kentucky
Overheard by: will1966
Coworker #1 to husband who dropped off lunch: What is on your shirt?
Husband: I spilled Coke.
Coworker #1: Do you want me to suck it?
St. George, Utah
Overheard by: Charlie
