Chiropractor to patient: We are both usually adjusting at the same time, so it is hard to pin down one another.
Englewood, Colorado
Overheard by: Receptionist
Chiropractor to patient: We are both usually adjusting at the same time, so it is hard to pin down one another.
Englewood, Colorado
Overheard by: Receptionist
Customer: I want to pay my bill. I know it’s two months overdue, so I
wanted to come and pay it in person.
Customer Service: According to our records they shut off your cable today.
Customer: But they said I had until today to pay the bill.
Customer Service: Well, your cable has been shut off today.
Customer: But today’s not over yet!
Customer Service: It is for you.
11020 Flatlands Avenue
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Paul
Accounting: You submitted a payment request for a renewal fee.
Peon: Yes.
Accounting: Can you find out how long the renewal term is for?
Peon: It says “annual renewal fee” on the invoice.
Accounting: Yeah, I saw that, but do you know when it’s valid until?
Peon: It says valid from October 31, 2005 on the invoice.
Accounting: Yeah, but can you make sure? You never know it could be for like two years or something.
3700 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Office grunt #1: So, why are you taking off on Friday?
Office grunt #2: To lay some pipe. ‘Cause layin’ pipe pays more than this job does.
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Giggling Silently
Suit: I want to take a personal day on Friday.
Boss: Okay, no problem. What are you doing on your day off?
Suit: I’m not telling you — it’s a personal day!
2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Coworker #1: Artificial insemination?
Coworker #2: That way I could have a kid without whoring myself around as much.
Kansas
Lady peon, imitating a robot: I love you. I love you, too. We should swap transmission fluids.
135 West 50th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Lowly Human
Cube dweller to another: I have time to beat you, but I don't have time to stop.
Malden, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Dan
Worker: Can I take the rest of the day off?
Boss: LetmethinkaboutthatNo.
Worker: Don’t you want to hear why?
Boss: No.
Worker: Some of the guys are going snowmobiling and I wanted to meet up with them…
Boss: What do you think this is, a resort?
Worker: If it were a resort, I wouldn’t have to leave; there’d be things to do.
900 Simpson Street
Saint Paul, Minnesota
