Office grunt #1: So, why are you taking off on Friday?
Office grunt #2: To lay some pipe. ‘Cause layin’ pipe pays more than this job does.
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Giggling Silently
Office grunt #1: So, why are you taking off on Friday?
Office grunt #2: To lay some pipe. ‘Cause layin’ pipe pays more than this job does.
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Giggling Silently
Suit: I want to take a personal day on Friday.
Boss: Okay, no problem. What are you doing on your day off?
Suit: I’m not telling you — it’s a personal day!
2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Coworker #1: Artificial insemination?
Coworker #2: That way I could have a kid without whoring myself around as much.
Kansas
Lady peon, imitating a robot: I love you. I love you, too. We should swap transmission fluids.
135 West 50th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Lowly Human
Cube dweller to another: I have time to beat you, but I don't have time to stop.
Malden, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Dan
Worker: Can I take the rest of the day off?
Boss: LetmethinkaboutthatNo.
Worker: Don’t you want to hear why?
Boss: No.
Worker: Some of the guys are going snowmobiling and I wanted to meet up with them…
Boss: What do you think this is, a resort?
Worker: If it were a resort, I wouldn’t have to leave; there’d be things to do.
900 Simpson Street
Saint Paul, Minnesota
Coworker #1: Our annual report is going to be delivered today. Please let me know when it arrives.
Coworker #2: How often do we get that?
University of Michigan, Ann Arbor
Loner geek, answering phone: The Phoenix rises at 3 pm. (hangs up phone)
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Bec215
Worker #1: Hi, Sally*, my ID has expired. How can I get it renewed?
Worker #2: I suppose the other people on our team will also be expiring soon, too. Do we need to address them now, or should we wait ’til they actually expire also?
55 East Hartland Street
East Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Linda BoBinda
Federal employee to coworker in ladies’ room: Darlene, how long is a dog pregnant?
L’Enfant Plaza
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Just a contractor
