HR #1: She said she’s going to be on it for life! What kind of doctor gives you Valium for life?
Accountant: A good one!
HR #1: And what doctor would mix Valium, Vicodin, and Demerol?
HR #2: What’s this doctor’s name, again?
1776 Main Street
Springfield, Massachusetts
Overheard by: ribbon
Manager: …can you work a couple extra hours? [Nick]’s not coming in again.
Cook #1: Sure. Why ain’t he coming in this time?
Manager: He’s in the hospital.
Cook #2: Hospital? You can’t get crack at a hospital.
Manager: Why does he keep going there, then?
33703 Woodward Avenue
Birmingham, Michigan
Boss: We will be taken off the internet. It is slowing down productivity.
5 minutes pass.
Worker #1: …What will I do all day?
Worker #2: Work.
Worker #1: Ha, ha! Whatever.
3275 Steinway Street
Astoria, New York
Co-worker #1: Hey, Tex.
Co-worker #2: Why are you calling me Tex?
Co-worker #1: You are walking funny, like a Texan.
Co-worker #2: Oh yeah, my knees are sore.
Co-worker #1: Is it quarterly review time already?
80 South Street
Hopkinton, Massachusetts
Musician: Nice of you to join us.
Exec: Well, you were 30 minutes late; I went to take a shit!
Musician: You’re entitled to that.
Exec: I washed my hand if you want to shake it.
875 6th Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: N & S
CIO on speaker: Time out guys, an animal just came into my
office…Cats aren’t allowed in my office till after 5.
2 Industrial Park Drive
Williamston, Michigan
Secretary: Wow, this is not much work for Friday!
Boss: …Except that it’s Wednesday today.
Dogwood Ave, Building 1
Johnson City, Tennessee
Co-worker: Let me grab that package later since, right now, I’m double-fisting.
11400 W. Olympic Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: lonecomic
Angry suit: It’s like I need to come to every meeting if I want to know what’s actually going on!
Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: At EVERY Meeting
Student worker: So, Joe* only got through four buckets today, so can I just do four buckets and go home?
Supervisor: No, you can’t, because Joe washed all the buckets that were over there and built that huge pyramid with them.
Student worker: Awww, man! How can I compete with him when he builds pyramids?
1145 East 4th Street
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: Rasputin
