Time Management

Boss: We will be taken off the internet. It is slowing down productivity.

5 minutes pass.

Worker #1: …What will I do all day?
Worker #2: Work.
Worker #1: Ha, ha! Whatever.

3275 Steinway Street
Astoria, New York

Co-worker #1: Hey, Tex.
Co-worker #2: Why are you calling me Tex?
Co-worker #1: You are walking funny, like a Texan.
Co-worker #2: Oh yeah, my knees are sore.
Co-worker #1: Is it quarterly review time already?

80 South Street
Hopkinton, Massachusetts

Musician: Nice of you to join us.
Exec: Well, you were 30 minutes late; I went to take a shit!
Musician: You’re entitled to that.
Exec: I washed my hand if you want to shake it.

875 6th Avenue
New York, NY

Overheard by: N & S

CIO on speaker: Time out guys, an animal just came into my
office…Cats aren’t allowed in my office till after 5.

2 Industrial Park Drive
Williamston, Michigan

Secretary: Wow, this is not much work for Friday!
Boss: …Except that it’s Wednesday today.

Dogwood Ave, Building 1
Johnson City, Tennessee

Co-worker: Let me grab that package later since, right now, I’m double-fisting.

11400 W. Olympic Boulevard
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: lonecomic

Angry suit: It’s like I need to come to every meeting if I want to know what’s actually going on!

Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: At EVERY Meeting

Student worker: So, Joe* only got through four buckets today, so can I just do four buckets and go home?
Supervisor: No, you can’t, because Joe washed all the buckets that were over there and built that huge pyramid with them.
Student worker: Awww, man! How can I compete with him when he builds pyramids?

1145 East 4th Street
Tucson, Arizona

Overheard by: Rasputin

Worker: The vendor wants to come in to finalize the program we discussed last month. Can you meet with him next week?
Boss: No, I am booked all week. Wasn't he supposed to send some follow up information?
Worker: I don't know, I was eating lunch.

Washington, DC

Project manager: We need to get the turnover rate for the past 12 months.
Database admin: I have that. I can give you the turnover for the past year.
Project manager: Great! We’ll also need it for the previous 12 months.
Database admin: I’m confused — isn’t the past 12 months the previous 12 months?
Project manager: Yes.

1055 Lenox Park Boulevard
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Iga