Clerk: You know, the adult videos are ‘Buy two, get a third free.’
Best girlfriend evar: Really? Honey, go get that one we were looking at.
Boyfriend: What, the one with the two blondes on the cover?
BGE: No, no — the pirates one.
Boyfriend: Okay, be right back.
BGE, as soon as he’s out of earshot: Quick, while he’s gone can you box up that Spiderman statue behind you, too?
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Girl #1: Let’s prank someone.
Girl #2: Oh! We can call and say, ‘Is your refrigerator running?’
Girl #1: Exactly!
Girl #2: … I forget the punch line to that one.
Girl #1: Yeah… me, too.
330 Garden Street
Santa Barbara, California
Overheard by: Violet White
CSR picking up discarded empty box: It would come in handy, even if we never used it.
Laurel House, Old Dover Road
Canterbury, Kent
England
Overheard by: John Dunmore
Manager: We really need some good ideas that senior management can throw darts at.
Underling: Hmmm…
Manager: Yeah, they don’t know what they want, but they’ll know when they see it. Then they’ll have something to throw darts at.
San Diego, California
Manager: I have a bunch of file folders. Can you sort them by color?
Assistant: Sure.
Manager: They’re in the back.
Assistant, returning with folders: These are all green.
Manager: Well, they’re different shades of green.
Assistant: Not really. It’s just that some are more faded than others.
Manager: I just think it would look nice if you sorted them into a pile of folders with straight greens and a pile with more of a spongy print. Are you okay with that?
Assistant: Sure. [To herself] There’s a lot of reasons why I don’t quit smoking.
North Charles Street
Baltimore, Maryland
80-something husband: Did you get the Viagra?
80-something wife: [Mutters something inaudible.]80-something husband: Well, did you get the prescription for the Viagra?
80-something lady sitting nearby: He’s aimin’ for tonight!
2323 Edinboro Road
Erie, Pennsylvania
Bank teller supervisor: She started working there when she was 18, and now she’s 46. Yeah, she’s been there 36 years.
1813 E 9th Street
Hopkinsville, Kentucky
Overheard by: will66
Building manager: Did you get that poop under control?
Maintenance guy: I’ll deal with it on Monday.
7025 Kit Creek Road
Research Triangle Park, North Carolina
Overheard by: mac774
Coworker on phone: Can I ask you something off-topic? If a family pet dies, how long can you keep it in the freezer?
Frances Avenue
Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Coworker: Well, then we’ve got something to do next week. But we’re not going back to that place. It was nasty. My van smells like a hooker died in it.
111 Oak Street
Bonner Springs, Kansas
