[In the ER.]Nurse #1: Oh my god.
Nurse #2: What?
Nurse #1, looking horrified: I just entered all of these notes on the wrong patient’s file.
Nurse #2: It’s okay. Just go back, delete, and re-enter them for the right patient.
Nurse #1, distressed at herself: But that’s awful! What would have happened?
Nurse #2, shrugging: ‘s’okay, happens all the time.
Hospital
Beckley, West Virginia
Doctor #1: Where did you say the patient has been recently?
Doctor #2: Ummmmm, Ghana? Something like that?
Doctor #1: So, Africa.
Doctor #2: No, South America.
525 E 68th Street
New York, New York
Receptionist #1: Where's Linda today?
Receptionist #2: She's gonna be out for a while, she's having surgery on her thyroid.
Dentist: I didn't even know she had a thyroid.
Bayside, New York
American patient on cell: …and I don't even know *how* it happened, I remember I had my pants on…
Emergency Room
Germany
Patient: Yeah, I have a twin brother about my age.
Presbyterian Hospital
New York, New York
Overheard by: Speechless RN
Nurse: What is the single dose of Kaletra?
Nurse manager: 400 and 100.
Nurse: So 500.
Nurse manager: 400 and 100
Nurse: Right. So 500?
Nurse manager: 400 and 100.
Nurse: So wouldn’t 400 and 100 be 500?
Nurse manager: Well obviously you would get 500; I thought you could just do the math all on your own.
550 North University Blvd
Indianapolis, Indiana
Experienced healthcare worker: I told you not to tell our boss that I let you do that procedure, but you told her. Why did you tell her?
New Asian healthcare worker: Sometimes you talk and I just nod my head.
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Alarmed healthcare worker
Clinic pharmacist to nurse practitioners: Can we please not talk about my vagina anymore today?
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: It’s not THAT kind of clinic!
Patient #1 to family member on Skype: Yeah, they're taking real good care of me. (to nurse) Say hi to my sister.
(nurse leans in to computer screen, waves hello)
Family member on Skype: Is he being a good patient?
Patient #2, on other side of curtain: He's cryin' like a little bitch!
Stony Brook Hospital
Long Island, New York
Priest to another, in hospital hall: I'll be right there, I've got to go into the little boys room first…
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Cornfused
