Suit: If we wanna make fun of freakin’ roosters, guess what?! We’re gonna make fun of freakin’ roosters.
3565 Atlanta Highway
Athens, Georgia
Suit: If we wanna make fun of freakin’ roosters, guess what?! We’re gonna make fun of freakin’ roosters.
3565 Atlanta Highway
Athens, Georgia
Coworker: Why won’t any sex offenders talk to me?
1334 Dodge Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Coworker on phone: Can I ask you something off-topic? If a family pet dies, how long can you keep it in the freezer?
Frances Avenue
Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Economics professor: Kick me in the rear. I like it.
University of Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: my attention span is price inelastic
Coworker #1: So, your daughter’s learning to walk yet?
Coworker #2: Nah, not yet, but she can stand up, and she falls down the stairs real good.
Coworker #1: What?
Coworker #2: Yeah, she did that last night. Scared me real good.
Coworker #1: Eh, don’t worry. Once, I dropped mine from a good height. About three or four feet. I didn’t worry, ’cause she started laughing.
Department of Homeland Security
Washington, DC
Overheard by: scared of having children
Woman to suit looking at a travel magazine: I’ve been there.
Suit: Oh, yeah? Where is that?
Woman: I don’t know.
Reagan National Airport
Arlington, Virginia
Pilot: Tower, there’s a piece of foreign object debris on the taxiway in front of the tower.
Tower: Roger, we’ll send a truck right out to pick it up.
Pilot: Tower, disregard the FOD. It just hopped off the taxiway.
Tower: Disregarding.
Air Force Pilot training base
Texas
Overheard by: Redstick Zero Five
Male administrator: So, are you a prostitute?
Female administrator: Excuse me?
Male administrator: It’s a line from that movie, Monster.
Female administrator: You can’t just go around saying things like that to people.
Male administrator: Oh. Well, I used to do it all the time at my old job.
Female administrator: Is that why you’re not working there anymore?
Connecticut Avenue
Washington, DC
Overheard by: the fly on the wall
Female editor: Hey, is Plastic Man a real superhero?
Assistant: Yeah. There’s been some dispute about his origins, though.
Female editor: Oh, really? But he is real, right?
Assistant: Yeah.
Female editor: Okay, great, thanks.
233 Spring Street,
SoHo, New York
College guy #1: Hey, man. You escape?
College guy #2: Yeah man. I took out the toilet and went through the wall.
333 Western Ave
Westfield, Massachusetts
Overheard by: someone standing in line just in front of them
