Branch manager: Wiggy wiggy wiggy wuzza wuzza wiggy. Wiggy!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Branch manager: Wiggy wiggy wiggy wuzza wuzza wiggy. Wiggy!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Coworker #1: Well one time, I was eating here, and I found a piece of metal in my mouth! You know, a long thin piece. But bunched up. I chewed on it and it like exploded in my mouth. In my mouth! Can you believe it? It was all twisted or something. Coiled. Oh yeah. It was a spring! A spring! Anyway, I chewed on it and it like boinged in my mouth. Wait, wait, wait. Can you believe it? Boing, boing, boing! So I spit it out and look at it and think, ‘What the hell is this and what is it doing in my food?’ But really, can you believe it? Boinging all over the place!
Coworker #2: Ok. Enough already. You’re making me sick. It’s like having lunch with Roseanne Roseannadanna. Next you’ll be telling me about the time you found a toenail in your cheeseburger.
Coworker #1: Oh yeah. Wouldn’t that be great? Lunch with Roseanne. But she’s dead, you know. Cancer.
Coworker #2: Gilda Radner died of cancer.
Coworker #1: Who? Why are you always changing the subject?
Coworker #2: I’m eating at my desk.
1500 University Avenue
Madison University Hospital & Clinics Cafeteria
Madison, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Just lost my appetite
Guy on the phone: Yeah, so I’ll just eat a light dinner and when we get there we can share a cowboy… Oh yeah, that sounds much better!
Tucson, AZ
Male customer: Well, we’re definitely interested. We’ll be back this week to make the purchase.
Sales chick: It was a pleasure to meet you. My name is Katie.
Female customer: Oh, Katie. We’ll remember that name!
Sales chick: Oh?
Female customer, whispering: Katie is the name of my “other” personality.
Sales chick: Oh?
Female customer, turning to male customer: Katie is not very nice, is she, darling?
Male customer: No, dear, she’s not.
Northridge, California
Overheard by: charlotte
Coworker: Sometimes I just go out to the warehouse dock and stand on the edge and think about jumping.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Patient: Can I have your home number? I promise not to call you all the time. Only in case of an emergency.
Doctor: Um, I don’t give out my home number. If you are having an emergency, you need to go to the emergency room.
Patient: But they don’t know my medical history!
Doctor: But I live two hours from you. You’ll receive medical care quicker by simply going to the emergency room. Besides, all your medical history can be pulled up on their computer.
Patient: So….you’re not going to give me your number?
616 Court Street
Oberlin, Louisiana
Overheard by: Vicky
Co-worker: Oh, I keep having these irrational dreams too. The other night I dreamt that I made this little mistake and it brought down like the entire company. And in the papers it said, “entire company went down because of this one stupid assistant!” And everyone knew my name and I couldn’t get a job anywhere, so I have to move to Europe and marry a guy to get my visa. Then I was a product of domestic abuse because he knew I was co-dependent on him.
175 5th Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Peter H
Worker #1: Do you have any time available to meet on Thursday?
Worker #2: It will be pretty tough; I have back to back meetings all day.
Worker #1: How about 11AM?
Worker #2: Okay, I have nothing scheduled at all between 9AM and 5PM.
140 Broadway
New York, NY
Overheard by: HardlyWorking
Co-worker: If we can have trampolines and flying elves, then I can be Stevie Wonder!
75 9th Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: CC
Old lady on cell: Well, I went commando once, but the whole day I was just super paranoid. What if it got flies in it or something?
3501 Quail Springs Parkway
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
