Office girl: This magazine says that men, on average, have sex 84 times a year.
Older math geek: Hmmm. That’s like one and a half times a week.
Office girl: What do you mean, ‘half’? There are no half-times when it comes to sex.
Older math geek: Trust me, there are.
Chantilly, Virginia
Receptionist: No, cash or check only. [Student reveals he only has nine dollars.] Hm. Do you have a 10-dollar bill?
UMW Student Accounts Office
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Overheard by: Guillermo
Employee to another: You’re down on your hands and knees eating a banana. How do you not know what that symbolizes?
Route 209 and Weir Lake Road
Brodheadsville, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: CW
Worker bee: So, there are seven categories, and each category has seven sections. Seven times seven is… a lot.
Mercer Street and Fairview Avenue
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: passed 3rd grade math
Coworker #1: Did you drive or take the train today?
Coworker #2: Train.
Coworker #1: What time are you leaving?
Coworker #2: I don’t know…
Coworker #1: Oh, I think I’m leaving before that.
Office building, 47th Street and 6th Avenue
New York, New York
Old coworker: You don’t know anything about the Beatles.
Young coworker: Sure I do. They were influenced by the Monkees.
90 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Shaun G
Employee digging for appropriate giveaway for children’s project: Let’s see what we got… Oooh, a grenade! Kids love grenades!
Noho
New York, New York
Cop: Is there any such thing as too many crackheads? I don’t think so. There are just never enough.
Academy Street
Newark, New Jersey
Overheard by: Dude
Boss on phone to wife: Yes, they’ll be in this evening. Well, afternoon-ish… Probably in the morning.
Cardiff
Wales
Bimbette #1: We are so lucky we can’t have forest fires here in Georgia.
Teacher: Forest fires can happen anywhere.
Bimbette #2: Nah, you gotta be closer to the equator than Georgia.
123 Broad Street
Dacula, Georgia
Overheard by: smokey the bear
