Male employee: I was sitting at my desk and I was thinking “There’s something missing.” And I was like, “Oh yeah! Nuts in my mouth.”
1111 Lockheed Martin Way
Sunnyvale, California
Male employee: I was sitting at my desk and I was thinking “There’s something missing.” And I was like, “Oh yeah! Nuts in my mouth.”
1111 Lockheed Martin Way
Sunnyvale, California
Male bank teller: I’m winning the Mega Millions tonight.
Female bank teller: I’m getting a brace for my leg.
Male teller: Screw that brace. When I win the Mega Millions we’ll get you a new leg! We’ll just cut that one off and I’ll get you a prostate.
725 East Big Beaver Road
Troy, Michigan
Co-Worker #1: What does “cosmopolitan” mean?
Co-Worker #2: It means, like, “worldly.”
Co-Worker #1: [blank stare]
Co-Worker #2: You know, like in Sex and the City.
415 South Street
Waltham, Massachusetts
Receptionist: Hey, did Kevin leave?
Co-worker: No, he’s gone for the day.
16443 Minnesota Avenue
Paramount, California
Overheard by: Stella Bella
Boss: Who is your supervisor?
Intern: Um, technically, you are.
1 University Station
Austin, Texas
Worker #1: I am thinking about going to medical school sometime.
Worker #2: I’m pretty sure you couldn’t handle medicine…
Worker #1: Just for that I’m going to be a medicine!
Worker #2: What?
1166 Gorham Street
Newmarket, Ontario
Canadia
Drone #1: Hey, [Mark]?
Drone #2: Yeah?
Drone #1: You leave yet?
Drone #2: Nope, still here.
388 Greenwich Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: Cranium S. Leeking
Portfolio Manager: She’s pissed that I didn’t sell the stock before it
went down.
Trader: Don’t you know that you are supposed to know when that’s gonna
happen?
Portfolio Manager: I guess not…
1900 East Ninth Street
Cleveland, Ohio
Director of Sales Support: If our salesmen were women they’d all be pregnant, because none of them know how to say no.
9898 West Bluemound Road
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Suit: Did you send that acceptance to [Rutter]?
Admin: No. Just the offering.
Suit: I asked you to send the offering and the acceptance.
Admin: I heard you asking me to send the offering, but after that I blanked out.
Suit: Well, let me know when you blank back in.
520 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Greek Goddess
