Boss: You know, if you’re behind the train, then you’re probably driving on the tracks again.
200 West Oak Street
Fort Collins, Colorado
Boss: You know, if you’re behind the train, then you’re probably driving on the tracks again.
200 West Oak Street
Fort Collins, Colorado
Supervisor: I have to clean this place up today before one of the company reps shows up!
Worker: Are they bringing us some squishy balls?!
Supervisor: No… Oh, not that kind of rep — this guy is from one of the companies that pays us.
Worker: What? Are they at least bringing some candy? Candy! Candy! Candy! Yay, candy!
University of Arizona
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: Rasputin
Office manager: Have you ever seen the images from an MRI? It’s amazing the beautiful colors that are inside of our bodies!
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: glorified gopher
Suit: I’d do it just to say I had hair on my ass.
385 3rd Avenue
New York, New York
Chick #1: Did you know that they’re making Coke kosher for Passover?
Chick #2: [Blank stare.]Chick #1: They’re putting sugar in it.
Chick #2: [Continues to stare.]Chick #1: Normally, it has corn syrup in it.
Chick #2: … Oh! The soda!
200 Varick Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Mardi
Coworker #1: She got to the point where she couldn’t leave the house anymore. She had that — what do you call it — homophobia.
Coworker #2: Ah, I think you mean ‘agoraphobia.’
Coworker #1: No, I’m pretty sure it’s homophobia.
Coworker #2: … If you say so.
187 Thomas Street
Sydney
Australia
Boss: I want Joan* helicoptered into this afternoon’s meeting.
Peon: But Joan works in this building. She could just walk.
Boss: I wasn’t being literal — it’s a metaphysical helicopter.
Aberdeen
Scotland
Overheard by: metaphysical, my arse
Customer to help desk support: My gun told me to call you guys.
Airport Road
Roanoke, Virginia
Overheard by: Alan
Boss: Your code no longer doesn’t not fail.
Howell, Michigan
Overheard by: Eric
Customer: I want to return this breast pump. It doesn’t work.
Manager: What’s wrong with it?
Customer: It doesn’t suck!
Store
Fort Worth, Texas
