Boss: I want Joan* helicoptered into this afternoon’s meeting.
Peon: But Joan works in this building. She could just walk.
Boss: I wasn’t being literal — it’s a metaphysical helicopter.
Aberdeen
Scotland
Overheard by: metaphysical, my arse
Boss: I want Joan* helicoptered into this afternoon’s meeting.
Peon: But Joan works in this building. She could just walk.
Boss: I wasn’t being literal — it’s a metaphysical helicopter.
Aberdeen
Scotland
Overheard by: metaphysical, my arse
Customer to help desk support: My gun told me to call you guys.
Airport Road
Roanoke, Virginia
Overheard by: Alan
Boss: Your code no longer doesn’t not fail.
Howell, Michigan
Overheard by: Eric
Customer: I want to return this breast pump. It doesn’t work.
Manager: What’s wrong with it?
Customer: It doesn’t suck!
Store
Fort Worth, Texas
New art director: This product line is called Madrid, right?
Creative director: Yes.
New art director: So why do you want me to look for images of the south of France?
Creative director: Isn’t Madrid on the coast of France?
325 Model Farm Road
High Point, North Carolina
Overheard by: I could find that on a map
Cashier: Oh, I’m sorry, it says your funds are insignificant. Maybe you should call your bank?
917 East Broadway
Tempe, Arizona
Pregnant teen cashier: Where is my prostate?
Coworker: Uhhh…
South Carolina
Administrative assistant: You know how they choose the pope with those smoke signals?
Staff member: Yeah…
Administrative assistant: It’s kind of like Groundhog’s Day, isn’t it?
Staff member: Wait, what? The movie or the holiday?
Administrative assistant: Duh, the holiday! What would the movie have to do with the pope?
Staff member: Well, what does the holiday have to do with the pope?
Administrative assistant: What?
Willamette Boulevard
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Jenny
Intern on third day of work: This is probably something I should have asked the first day, but… where’s the men’s room?
Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Principal: Do you know Fortran?
Research analyst: Yes, I think so… Wait, is that a man or a woman?
John Hancock Tower
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: economista
