Nurse to another: Usually, a parent has lots of children, and they touch all their children and wait for them to go away.
Bellevue, Washington
Nurse to another: Usually, a parent has lots of children, and they touch all their children and wait for them to go away.
Bellevue, Washington
Coworker #1: I think it's creepy you kiss your dad on the lips. It's like making out with your father.
Coworker #2: Why do you think that's creepy?! I'm his daughter! His sperm is inside of me!
St. Louis, Missouri
Bridezilla-to-be on cell in lounge: … Yeah, but, like, his family is just so different than ours, Mom! They’re lower class and aren’t used to spending a lot of money on stuff like that!
Insurance company
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Leasing rep: Well, the girl was 14 and her mother's 21! How is she going to learn anything with a mother like that? And the grandmother is only 32!
Randallstown, Maryland
Overheard by: tkap
Coworker to another: My son got into GATE classes… He's not even smart!
Orange County, California
Guy with loafers but no socks on cell: Hi son, it's me. Am I going to see you at the club tonight, or are you staying home? Oh, okay. So did you switch your class schedule? So now you're taking gym instead of business law? Terrific! That's great. Okay, see you soon. Bye.
New Haven, Connecticut
Overheard by: who calls their son
Peon #1: Oh my god, who wrote “Happy birthday!” in the “Loss of your father” sympathy card?
Peon #2: Clearly it was Lance. Who else is that stupid?
Lance: What did I do? Oh, it's fine, let's just use Wite-Out, he won't know the difference.
Peon #2: Didn't you read the card? Or look at it? It's blue, how's “white” out supposed to fix it?
Lance: What, it's always someone's birthday around here, since when do we do sympathy cards?
Peon #1: Since my grandma died and you wrote “Thanks for all your hard work.”
Arizona
Overheard by: Shocked in AZ
Male worker: She's off, her mother just died.
Female worker: Yeah, her hair looked great today.
Deli
New Jersey
Overheard by: waiting in line
Young mother pushing baby carriage to old woman holding door for her: Oh, thanks. I think about how hard it must be for people in wheelchairs, but I think this is worse, because I always have so much to carry.
Kent, Ohio
Overheard by: elizabetz
Super pregnant co-worker to new hire: Oh my god, it's like I can feel his face pushing up against my vagina whenever I walk!
(new hire stares in stunned silence)
Super pregnant co-worker, attempting to backpedal: Well, I mean, not all the time. But if I walk really fast then I get worried it'll mess up his face! Like, “woah, dude, what happened to your nose?” “My mom had a really heavy gait when I was in utero, man.”
New Jersey
Overheard by: So, what does it feel like when you sit?
