Coworker to another: My son got into GATE classes… He's not even smart!
Orange County, California
Coworker to another: My son got into GATE classes… He's not even smart!
Orange County, California
Guy with loafers but no socks on cell: Hi son, it's me. Am I going to see you at the club tonight, or are you staying home? Oh, okay. So did you switch your class schedule? So now you're taking gym instead of business law? Terrific! That's great. Okay, see you soon. Bye.
New Haven, Connecticut
Overheard by: who calls their son
Peon #1: Oh my god, who wrote “Happy birthday!” in the “Loss of your father” sympathy card?
Peon #2: Clearly it was Lance. Who else is that stupid?
Lance: What did I do? Oh, it's fine, let's just use Wite-Out, he won't know the difference.
Peon #2: Didn't you read the card? Or look at it? It's blue, how's “white” out supposed to fix it?
Lance: What, it's always someone's birthday around here, since when do we do sympathy cards?
Peon #1: Since my grandma died and you wrote “Thanks for all your hard work.”
Arizona
Overheard by: Shocked in AZ
Male worker: She's off, her mother just died.
Female worker: Yeah, her hair looked great today.
Deli
New Jersey
Overheard by: waiting in line
Young mother pushing baby carriage to old woman holding door for her: Oh, thanks. I think about how hard it must be for people in wheelchairs, but I think this is worse, because I always have so much to carry.
Kent, Ohio
Overheard by: elizabetz
Super pregnant co-worker to new hire: Oh my god, it's like I can feel his face pushing up against my vagina whenever I walk!
(new hire stares in stunned silence)
Super pregnant co-worker, attempting to backpedal: Well, I mean, not all the time. But if I walk really fast then I get worried it'll mess up his face! Like, “woah, dude, what happened to your nose?” “My mom had a really heavy gait when I was in utero, man.”
New Jersey
Overheard by: So, what does it feel like when you sit?
Secretary to photocopier, lovingly: I spend more time with you than I do my husband.
Copy Room
Brisbane
Australia
Paper-white new dad: Would like you to see a picture of my son?
Coworker: Oh, he's so cute! What ethnicity is your wife?
Paper-white new dad: She's Spanish.
Coworker: Oh, I love brown babies.
Paper-white new dad: What, excuse me?
West 22nd Street
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Phil F.
Operations manager: What are some of your goals?
New hire: I want to have babies!
Operations manager: Ok… Do you have any goals in regards to your future with our company?
New hire: Sure, I want to do my job right, but I was really just born to have babies.
Dallas Parkway
Dallas
Overheard by: Addy
New employee: Did you say to never schedule a meeting in the cafeteria or the nursing mothers station?
Experienced employee: Never in the nursing mothers station!
New employee: But the cafeteria doesn't have a phone…
Greenfield, Indiana
