Middle-aged woman #1: I didn’t get any vacation time this year because I was so busy with my mother.
Middle-aged woman #2: How is your mother doing? Does she have anyone to talk to? Like friends or anyone?
Middle-aged woman #1: Well, yes, but the problem is that all the 85-year-old men want is phone sex.
20-something girl: Well, there’s something to look forward to.
Midtown Building
New York City, New York
Well-dressed 30-something woman: So my son was like: “Mom! There’s this ball in my privates and it’s moving around!” So I told him to talk to his father because I want nothing to do with this conversion. So he says: “Dad! There’s this ball in my privates and it’s moving around!” and my husband goes: “Yeah -’cause those are your balls. Women have boobs and men have balls and those are your balls! End of story.”
Slightly horrified 20-something woman: Don’t you think that will ultimately confuse him?
30-something woman: I know, right?! Anyway, it was so funny… [Laughs] Balls!
Providence, Rhode Island
Coworker to another: I can't wait to see your wife's baby making place.
Atlanta, Georgia
A man holding a child’s hand meets up with a woman holding another child’s hand.
Man and woman, simultaneously: I thought he was with you!
Man, turning to go back inside: I told you this would happen if you let them outnumber us.
Outside Bloomingdale’s, 59th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Kim Siddorn
Girl: Did you ever eat SpaghettiO's when you were a kid?
Guy: No, my parents loved me.
Grocery Store
Vancouver, Washington
Counter girl: Did I tell you I almost got locked up last night?
Male customer: Fo’ what?
Counter girl: I took my homegirl’s car and rode over to my baby daddy’s momma house. Po-lice got me going through a light. I was like, “Shit, man, I got weed and a rock in my joint, and my shit’s suspended, yo.”
Male customer: That’s some Cops shit, girl!
Girl: Fo’ reals…But I worked my way out with a warning, got my baby, went home, and smoked that shit.
11th Street & F Street
Washington, DC
Overheard by: suddenly not hungry
Company prom queen on regional conference call: Are we prospecting for donors who are interested in maternal morbidity?
International Nonprofit
Washington, DC
Overheard by: No, butter is not a carb.
