3PM Smoke Break

Marketer: So after sitting in her funky trailer for about 2 hours
listening to her talk about God, this lady was like, “Baby…I have been reading my Bible for 53 years…and I can tell you read your Bible, too…” So, I in my best Southern voice, said, “Yes, ma’am…I
read my Bible every day. I try to live my life according to the
Word.” But, I was just bullshitting. I’m probably going to hell. I mean she is like 90 and lives in a single-wide behind her daughter who lives in a double-wide…She can’t wipe her own ass…She’s about to die…and I am lying about reading the Bible. But we had a patient pass yesterday and we need one to take his place. Gotta keep the bodies moving…gotta get that bonus. Y’know?

1441 Main Street
Columbia, South Carolina

Posted on August 5, 2015
Age and ageing, Death, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, Lies, Money, Religion, Sales, South Carolina

You've Got Rush Limbaugh Poisoning, Dude

Grad student: Everything is unisex these days, even a vagina.

Laboratory
Charleston, South Carolina

Posted on May 30, 2015
Body Parts, South Carolina, Students, Weirdness

He Has, He’s Just Hoping She’ll Show Him Where It Is

Male employee #1: I don’t think it exists.
Female employee: The G-spot? Oh, it’s real.
Male employee #1: I think it’s a mythical place.
Male employee #2: I’ve never heard of it.

2299 Ridge Road
Greenville, South Carolina

Overheard by: dying a slow death

Posted on May 7, 2015
Dumb Employees, General Idiocy, Philosophy, Sexuality, Smart Employees, South Carolina

It’s So Hard Being an Orthodox Mormon

Female employee: What the hell is she fussing at? He’s only two years older than her. If he’s old, she’s old!
Office manager: She’s just trying to ruffle your feathers.
Sales guy: You should tell her your husband can beat up her husband.
Assistant: Which one? She’s got a couple.
Female employee: Hey!
Sales guy: Haha, I forgot she’s got like three husbands now.
Female employee: I hate you guys.

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Posted on May 4, 2015
Age and ageing, Bosses, Coworkers, Family, Feelings, Gripes, Receptionists, Relationships, Sales, South Carolina

Suspicious White Stuff, Anyway

Front desk girl to maintenance guy, about her empty water bottle: Yeah, there were no babies in it like last time.

5055 International Boulevard
North Charleston, South Carolina

Posted on April 9, 2015
Coworkers, Meals and Snacks, South Carolina

Spice Girls: ‘No Problem!’

Salesperson: They don’t have to know what they want. They just have to tell me what they want.

2299 Ridge Road
Greenville, South Carolina

Overheard by: dying a slow death

Posted on April 6, 2015
Office Politics, Sales, South Carolina

Librarians Often Hone Their Skills With Eighties References

Reference librarian to another: Bitch! You da rock lobster!

Charleston County, South Carolina

Overheard by: I wish I had heard the first part of this conversation…

Posted on April 4, 2015
Coworkers, Insults, Music, South Carolina

But It's Free, So Let's Stock Up!

Large GSR #1: That food stinks!
Larger GSR #2: I know, I can smell it with my mouth!

Charleston, South Carolina

Posted on March 26, 2015
Body Parts, Coworkers, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Meals and Snacks, South Carolina

Linnaeus Is Rolling Over in His Grave

Working girl #1: So, I’ve decided I’m going to get a tattoo of dolphins around my belly button.
Working girl #2: But if you get pregnant, won’t they look like… whales?

Main Street
Columbia, South Carolina

Posted on March 10, 2015
Coworkers, Insults, Questions, South Carolina

To What Extent Are You Her?

Old, crazy worker lady: Hey, what department do you work in?
New girl: I work in XYZ department*.
Old, crazy worker lady: Oh, what do you do there?
New girl: I’m an assistant.
Old, crazy worker lady: Oh, you’re a lawyer?
New girl: No, I’m an assistant. My name’s Erin Murray*.
Old, crazy worker lady: Oh, Erin Murray! Oh, I know her — I’m a big fan of her work.

South Carolina

Overheard by: stuck in sc

Posted on February 24, 2015
Crazies, Gossip, South Carolina