Client: Why do I have financial charges? It was a plan for "same as cash" for eighteen months.
CSR: Well, sir, we sent you eighteen months of statements telling you that if you don’t pay by the due date, you’ll have financial charges to pay and exactly how much they would be.
Client: You expected me to read my mail?
Citibank
Toronto, Canada
Overheard by: Citi Slicker
Employee #1: Well, we already live together.
Employee #2: Oooh, living in sin!
Employee #3: Jesus won’t be happy with you.
Employee #1: Well, I’m Jewish, so Jesus already isn’t too happy with me.
Employee #3: That’s true.
Employee #1: I think when I get married under a chuppah, he might get upset!
Employee #2: Jesus was Jewish, though.
Employee #3: Jesus was also a carpenter.
1500 Broadway
New York, New York
Customer: That’s a pretty name. Different.
Cashier: Yeah, you don’t see it much up here. It’s Mexican.
Customer: Don’t you mean it’s Spanish?
Cashier: No, it’s Mexican in origin.
Customer: Racist.
Sprague and Sullivan
Spokane, Washington
Overheard by: It’s this whole other country
Customer: Excuse me, miss!
Waitress: Yes, sir?
Customer: My soup is too soupy.
Waitress: Well, I’m sorry, sir, if your soup is too soupy, but it is soup.
Point Pleasant, New Jersey
Overheard by: he deserved it
Heated caller: So let me understand this: if I die, I get $100,000?
CSS rep: No. If you pass, your beneficiary will receive $100,000.
Heated caller: But it is my money. I am paying the premium for it. I should be able to get my money. Why can’t I have my money?!
CSS rep: Because you will be dead, ma’am.
Heated caller: That’s ridiculous. I want to speak with a manager.
1 Sartan Way
Merrimack, New Hampshire
Overheard by: CSS Nightmare
Travel agent: Where were you looking to take a cruise to?
Client: Do they have cruises to Las Vegas?
Proctor Street
Tacoma, Washington
Overheard by: potitia
Shopper #1: Like, look at this credit card. The numbers are raised. I wonder why they do that.
Shopper #2: It’s like Braille or something. They do it so blind people can read the numbers.
Oviedo Marketplace Mall
Oviedo, Florida
Woman: I want to send a money order.
Teller: Is it going out of state?
Woman: No. It’s not.
Teller: Where are you sending it?
Woman: Chicago.
Teller: That’s out of state.
Woman: It is?!
Bank
Southfield, Michigan
Overheard by: Next in line
Tourist: What is this special wine deal you have tonight?
Waitress: Well, it’s 5-dollar Italian wine night, so any wine that is made in Italy is 5 dollars. But we are out of Sauvignon Blanc and Pinot Grigio.
Tourist: Well, I guess I’ll have a glass of Sauvignon Blanc.
Waitress: We’re out of that. Anything else.
Tourist: Then I’ll have a glass of Pinot Grigio.
17th and P Street
Washington, DC
Overheard by: guy at another table
Young lady: Are there nuts in the apple walnut salad?
Dining companion, sarcastically: No, it’s a new type of apple.
Young lady: Good, because I’m allergic to nuts, and I really want that salad.
Waiter: Do you want the half salad or the whole?
858 Tittabawassee Road
Saginaw, Michigan
Overheard by: Herodotus420
