Dumb Customers

Person: Hi, I’m here for my 1 o’clock meeting. I know I’m a little early…
Receptionist: I’m sorry, what?
Person: I’m here for my meeting at 1; I’m early. Sorry about that.
Receptionist: Um…Yeah, it’s almost 3…So…
Person: Oh sorry, right, 3, must be in a different time zone.

9250 Beverly Boulevard
Los Angeles, California

Girl #1: It’s so scary hearing about people dying.
Girl #2: Yeah, totally… You can die from so many things. You can die from death, sickness…

Sydney, Australia

Overheard by: elle

Cashier: Since this is a liquidation, all sales are final and there are no returns or exchanges.
Customer: So if something's wrong with it, I can't return it?
Cashier: That's right.
Customer: Okay.
Customer, after item is paid for: So, I can return this if it's wrong?
Cashier, sighing: You know what? Give it a whirl. Let me know how that goes.

Chicago, Illinois

Passenger: What time does the five o’clock bus leave?
Bus driver, sarcastically: I don’t know.

Boulder, Colorado

Overheard by: Another bus driver

Customer: Why are you billing me for this stuff?
CSR: Did you make the purchases on your credit card statement?
Customer: Yes, but I already paid for them. I used my credit card.
CSR: Yes, but now you have to pay your credit card bill.
Customer: That’s stupid. Why would I pay for something twice?

4325 17th Avenue S.
Fargo, North Dakota

Customer: Why is your store so big?
Salesgirl: [Silence.]Customer: I’m an accountant — I notice these things.

Chocolate store
North Plainfield, New Jersey

Overheard by: Other Salesgirl

Cashier: You have $3.99 in late fees for No Country for Old Men. Would you like to pay that today?
Customer: I didn’t rent that.
Cashier: You handed it to me when you walked in, sir.

Hollywood Video
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Jen

Customer: … And before I go, can I get your name, Stanley*?
Stanley, the salesman: Um… Well, it’s… Stanley.

Canton, Michigan

Customer on phone: How come my phone doesn’t work?

Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Customer: How do you guys get to New York? Like, which flights do I have to get on?
Ticket agent: (explains routes, flight numbers, arrival times, etc.)
Customer: Okay. I'd like a ticket to Chicago, please.

Edmonton International Airport
Canadia

Overheard by: Amused Agent