The Customer Is Always Right

Old guy: Small fish and chips.
Italian vendor: The fish aren’t ready — 10 minutes.
Old guy: What? I’m very deaf.
Italian vendor: The fish aren’t ready — 10 minutes!
Old guy: What? I can’t hear you.
Italian vendor: No fish! Have a look here [points to other menu items].
Old guy: I can’t see so well. Just get me a fish and chips.
Italian vendor: No fish!
Old guy: Why are you talking to me?! I can’t hear well! Just get me a fish.
Italian vendor: No fish!
Old guy: Are you stupid? I’m deaf and nearly blind, just get me a fish and chips! God, you’d think you didn’t have any fish!

Edinburgh, Scotland
United Kingdom

Posted on February 1, 2026
Dumb Customers, Language barrier, Meals and Snacks, UK

While I’m a Cornell Grad

White customer pointing at Filipino bag boy: Is he black, or is he white?! I just can’t tell…
Cashier: Um, he’s Filipino.
White customer: I don’t care what religion he is, I just wanna know his race.
Cashier: He’s Filipino.
White customer: No wonder you’re just a cashier.

Piggly Wiggly
Farmville, North Carolina

Posted on January 7, 2026
Dumb Customers, North Carolina, Race

Okay, Everybody Charge Things to This Dude!

Cashier: … And do you have your Hudson’s Bay credit card with you today?
Gangster #1: My what?
Cashier: HBC credit card. It’s gold.
Gangster #1: Oh, yeah, man. I think so. Uhhh… Is this it?
Cashier: No, that’s your MasterCard. I’m looking for the HBC card, if you have it.
Gangster #1: Oh, yeah, man, HBC! They always be sendin’ me bills in the mail and shit, you know, and I don’t even know why!
Gangster #2: Dude, that’s HSBC. That’s the bank.
Gangster #1: Oh.
Gangster #2: You don’t even know the difference, do you?
Gangster #1: Not really. So, like, one has an S and one doesn’t have an S, right? Is that it?
Gangster #2: No, it’s completely different.
Gangster #1: Well, so what, man? I still gotta pay the bills whether it has an S or whether it don’t have an S, right?

Zellers Lansdowne Mall
Richmond, British Columbia
Canadia

Posted on January 1, 2026
Canadia, Dumb Customers, Employees, General Idiocy, Money, Questions, Words

Too Far up the Pyramid of Technology

Customer: I’m looking for a special kind of bead.
Bead store clerk: Okay, can you describe it?
Customer: Well, it’s flat and has four holes in it. I know there’s a name for them, but I just can’t remember it. You can sew them into clothing…
Bead store clerk: Do you mean a button?
Customer: Yes! Do you have buttons?
Bead store clerk: Um, no.

Newport Village
Port Moody, British Columbia
Canadia

Posted on December 26, 2025
Canadia, Dumb Customers, General Idiocy

Despite What You May Have Heard

Thrift store connoisseur: Well, I don’t like underwear with stains anyway…

19043 Wentworth Avenue
Lansing, Illinois

Overheard by: Rusti

Posted on November 24, 2025
Dumb Customers, Health & Hygiene, Illinois, Retail

Brice Now Regretted Choosing the How-Can-I-Be-Happy-in-a-World-Full-of-Suffering Meal

Guy: You know, it’s really unfair we have 24-hour food, and some places have no food at all.

38th Street and I-465
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Mylisa Suzanne

Posted on November 1, 2025
Dumb Customers, General Idiocy, Indiana, Meals and Snacks

What a Fulozer

CSR on phone: And what size product do you have?
Customer: Where do I find that?
CSR: It should be on the front of the label, probably on the bottom.
Customer: No, it’s not there. All it says there is ‘Eight fulozos.’
CSR: Uh… Do you mean ‘Eight fluid ounces’?
Customer: No… It says ‘Fulozos.’

1905 Aston Avenue
Carlsbad, California