Cube rat #1: My mouse is being such a pain lately.
Cube rat #2: You should get one of those mouses that, y’know, doesn’t have a cord. Oh, man, what are those called, again?
Cube rat #1: Um, a cordless mouse?
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: I work with monkeys
Man: *Erica, the phone’s for you.
Old coworker: What?
Man: It’s for *Erica!
Old man: Oh, ok. [picks up the phone] Hello?… Oh, hold on. [puts phone down] *Erica, the phone’s for you!
Washington Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Boss to intern: The gym is a great place for networking. You tend to have a bit more pull with your colleagues when you see them naked in the locker room every morning.
Bellingham, Washington
Worker #1: Every time I kiss her, she tries to stick her tongue in my mouth.
Worker #2: What’s wrong with that?
Worker #1: I just don’t think it’s appropriate. She is married, after all.
Seattle, Washington
Dispatcher, deciding whether to continue an affair: I’m not very good at, like, breaking hearts, y’know?
Seattle, Washington
Bewildered call agent: No, ma'am, “Seattle” is not spelled with a “c,” if it were it would sound like… “cattle.”
Yakima, Washington
Overheard by: Moooo
Director: I haven't slept in 10 days!
Worker bee: Vickie has an amulet–try that.
Redmond, Washington
Employee: Bridget's out on maternity leave again? That woman is fertile!
Boss: Yeah, I know where to come if I want to have more kids.
Bellevue, Washington
Nurse to another: Usually, a parent has lots of children, and they touch all their children and wait for them to go away.
Bellevue, Washington
Shoe store girl #1: You look tired all the time.
Shoe store girl #2: Well, I think it’s my allergies. I’m allergic to cats and I like to rub mine on my face all the time.
Shoe store girl #1: Oh.
Northgate Mall
Seattle, Washington
