Washington

Female coworker: I’m so tired of being alone but it’s impossible to meet any available men here. I should have taken John* up on his offer.

Male coworker: Who?

Female coworker: You know, John Smith*. The guy who was here about eight years ago and got booted, then came back a few years later, then got booted again a couple of years ago.

Male coworker: Oh he’s been booted more times than that! What are you talking about?

Female coworker: Didn’t I tell you? He came back last fall trying to get reinstated and stopped by to see me. He said he’d been thinking about me. He wanted to know if I was interested in getting together but I didn’t want to get into that so I lied and said I was seeing someone. Now I wonder why I did that.

Male coworker: Maybe because he’s a bipolar bisexual alcoholic?

Female coworker: There is that…But I bet he wouldn’t have bored me.

Small town, Washington

Overheard by: i’m lonely too – but not that lonely

Customer: That’s a pretty name. Different.
Cashier: Yeah, you don’t see it much up here. It’s Mexican.
Customer: Don’t you mean it’s Spanish?
Cashier: No, it’s Mexican in origin.
Customer: Racist.

Sprague and Sullivan
Spokane, Washington

Overheard by: It’s this whole other country

Little girl, pointing at Ann Coulter’s Godless: Who’s that lady, daddy?
Dad: She’s some crazy lady who doesn’t know what she’s talking about.
Little girl: She looks like she should be in movies.
Dad: [Shocked silence]Little girl: But not very good movies.
Dad: Ha! That’s my girl.

Auntie’s Bookstore
402 West Main Avenue
Spokane, Washington

Travel agent: Where were you looking to take a cruise to?
Client: Do they have cruises to Las Vegas?

Proctor Street
Tacoma, Washington

Overheard by: potitia

Receptionist: I thought she was going to tell me I was fat…but, no, she just wanted to tell me that I smell bad.

Andover Park West
Tukwila, Washington

Manager: Ok, I don’t mean to sound weird, but…
Receptionist #1: Oh, this is gonna be good.
Manager: I was at Starbucks on the 4th of July, and…it was all Asians! It was an Asian invasion! They were everywhere! I was going to ask if they were having a family reunion. Then someone else walked in the door, and [my 14-year-old daughter] nudged me, and it was another Asian! I’ve told [my daughter], “Ok, you can marry a Muslim! A black! A Jew! Just don’t bring home an Asian!” They travel in packs and take pictures! And they are the worst drivers! Any time you see a bad driver swerving, weaving in and out of lanes? Asian! But, I mean, my tennis partner is Asian, so…
Receptionist #1: Becky*, you’re a racist!
Manager: I’m not a racist…just to Asians!

An Asian client walks in.

Receptionist #2: Hi, Mr. Wong*!

4020 NE 55th Street
Seattle, Washington

Elevator-Rider #1: Hey, are you still working in homicide?
Elevator-Rider #2: Nah, I left homicide a while ago. Now I’m in sexual predators. It’s great ’cause I don’t have to be on call anymore, and I have weekends free.

King County Administration Building
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: B

Manager: How are we supposed to get any work done if all of our developers keep getting sucked off?

4740 44th Avenue SW
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: g-man

Chief accountant on phone: No, this is not a business. This is the U.S. government.

1660 S Columbian Avenue
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Rogue Peanut

Supervisor: The contact name is “Ding Ding”?
Co-worker: Yes.
Supervisor: And he lives in his car behind K-mart?

1001 Roeder Avenue
Bellingham, Washington

Overheard by: Chris Shard