Dental Assistant: Whatever you do, don’t lick your tongue.
710 NW Juniper St.
Issaquah, Washington
Overheard by: Margaret
Dental Assistant: Whatever you do, don’t lick your tongue.
710 NW Juniper St.
Issaquah, Washington
Overheard by: Margaret
Employee: Do you always have to act like a child?
Manager: This company is all about innovation. And studies have consistently shown that the most innovative thought comes from the ages of five and under.
31601 Pacific Hwy South
Federal Way, Washington
Lawyer: You need to learn how to be human. Be less perfect; you don’t have to be so precise about everything. Be less professional. Any questions?
Secretary: Yeah. Do you have a handbook for how to be human?
Lawyer: Oh, now you’re going to be a smartass.
701 5th Avenue
Seattle, Washington
Barmaid: I know, but it’s funnier as an STD.
Seattle, Washington
Bagger: What kind of bag would you like?
Dismissive shopper: You pick. I haven’t been here in a while, so I don’t know what the options are.
7504 Aurora Avenue North
Seattle, Washington
Lady worker on phone: So, is this a bring-your-own-rubber-chicken kind of party?
Coffee brewery corporate center
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Gryndyl
Writer, presenting: I tried to get out of the way and let the thing be the thing, here.
Renton, Washington
Co-worker #1: Wow! That’s the longest email I’ve ever gotten from a customer.
Co-worker #2: Really? What is it?
Co-worker #1: [Kateunderscorelee]@yahoo.com
Co-worker #2: That’s not long…Oh! Um, do you know what an “underscore” is? You don’t spell it out.
1001 Roeder Avenue
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: Chris Shard
Employee accompanied by small child: I smashed it on the ground and then I hit it with a chair, and now it feels like it's on fire. It's not, but it feels that way.
Small child: (inaudible)
Employee: No, I don't think any blood's coming out.
Redmond, Washington
Coworker #1: So you saw her at church then, that is kinda cool.
Coworker #2: Yeah, because at least I know she isn't out getting gang-banged on a Sunday, which is nice.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Professor Awesome
