CSR: Yeah, Alabama is first. I can’t think of any other states that start with ‘A’… Mhmmm… Oh, right, Arizona. And Iowa.
Boston, Massachusetts
CSR: Yeah, Alabama is first. I can’t think of any other states that start with ‘A’… Mhmmm… Oh, right, Arizona. And Iowa.
Boston, Massachusetts
Consultant #1: Should we print copies so people can take notes?
Consultant #2: I never take notes — I have a phallic memory. If I see it once, I always remember it.
Bay Area Boulevard
Houston, Texas
Bookkeeper: He has a monkey! It’s a medically trained monkey. It can dial 911. What it tells them, I’m not sure…
Western Avenue
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: the sugar monster
Employee to systems guy: So, first of all, we want the truth.
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Insurance rep: Do you know what flood zone you’re in?
Client: What are my choices?
Insurance rep: It’s not really a choice, FEMA assigns them.
North Great Neck Road
Virginia Beach, Virginia
Receptionist: Hi, this is Pat*. I was calling to see if you wanted to set an appointment.
Customer on speakerphone: Yes, I do.
Receptionist: So, it looks like I set you an appointment before. What happened?
Customer on speakerphone: … You cancelled it.
Receptionist: Hm. I wonder why.
Atlanta, Georgia
Writer: So, if I get the new position I’ll be your boss.
Designer: That’s what I hear.
Writer: I could be all… pimp-slapping you if you got out of line. Or, like, assigning you all kinds of work while I’m laying on the beach drinking one percent milk.
Designer: With that raise you could be drinking whole milk!
16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
Investigative journalist on phone: Honey, please, you’ve got to get me those records. Without them we don’t have a story! In order to do this story, I really need you to get me those records, honey. I know you have access to them… Well, no, you won’t technically be lying to the police.
TV news show
New York, New York
Overheard by: Lindsay
Clerk: Are you worried?
Rehab counselor using laptop: No. Why?
Clerk: People always look worried while they are trying to memorize the Internet.
4555 Central Avenue
Columbus, Indiana
Cube girl on phone, laughing: That must be really annoying, someone telling you your mom’s dead and then they tell you your dad’s dead, too!
100 Avenue of the Americas
New York, New York
