Music agent slamming phone down angrily: God, he’s so unintelligent! I mean, even for a tenor!

1st District

Market researcher, frustrated at client: I don’t have auto pilot Las Vegas porn attendance statistics in my brain!

Pearl District
Portland, Oregon

Office peon: It’s amazing what delicacies you can find hidden within the bush.

5757 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California

Retired lawyer: I’m just buried under these law documents.
Boss: Wait, are you practicing law without a license?
Retired lawyer: No, without knowledge.

2550 Q Street NW
Washington, DC

Overheard by: C Dubz

Secretary: You look kind of like Bill Gates.
Specialist: I don’t look dorky enough.
Secretary: How dorky do you not think you look?

25 Sigourney Street
Hartford, Connecticut

Executive: If I had to use that, my arm would fall off!
Scientist: This coming from the guy with the largest disposable pipette!

Rockland, Maryland

Canadian arborist: Check it out. I can streamline the camera in the town square back at home in Brandon. I called my dad and told him to drive by and wave. Sometimes, if you watch long enough, you can see someone crash.

Westchester, New York

Receptionist: … And let me just tell you, those at-home wart freezers do not work on your poonani.

Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Glad I wore my space suit

Visiting consultant: I think we saw every public restroom in San Francisco. Just what I wanted — a urine-filled holiday.

5760 Highway 80 East
Pearl, Mississippi

Overheard by: Brain Dancing

Analyst #1: We need something to make this tea better.
Analyst #2: Have you tried rum?

10 minutes later.

Analyst #1: Do you have any more rum?
Analyst #3: It’s ten in the morning.

225 High Ridge Road
Stamford, Connecticut

Overheard by: QRC