Office consultant that everyone hates: Once I commit to something I tend to try to do it.

Community Co-op
Newark, New Jersey

Over the cube wall: That’s apples and oranges. But the oranges are red.

2nd Avenue
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Murray

Seminar coordinator: Between keeping my shoes on and keeping my britches on, there’ll be no running from me!

14 Fairfield Drive
Brookfield, Connecticut

Overheard by: Marissa

Social worker to passing ambulances and police cars: Shut up! God.

260 South Broad Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: lora

Photo person cleaning out pump nozzle of green hand sanitizer: This is just like picking boogers out of a toddler!

Prudential Plaza
Chicago, Illinois

Designer: Hey, I’m photoshopping — no spanking!

West 5th Avenue
Vancouver, British Columbia

Overheard by: designgrl

CSR: Do you know the part number of the item you are looking for?
Customer: It’s C-S…
CSR: C-S? As in ‘cat sandwich’?

Braintree, Massachusetts

Call center rep: Well, what do you do when a random person at a call center says, ‘I love you’?

1440 Broadway
New York, New York

Counselor: Is that a Tupac T-shirt? You’re five. Tupac wasn’t alive when you were born. What do you know about Tupac?
Kid: I know the haters killed him.
Counselor: Touché.

Richmond, Virginia

Overheard by: SB

Grad student: Let's get that second kit, there's more solution and tubes.
Advisor: Great, we'll get more buck for our dollar.
Grad student: Um, what?
Advisor: More buck for your dollar.
Grad student: Do you mean “more bang for our buck”?
Advisor: Well, I thought that's what it was, but that sounds dirty. Like prostitutes or something, so I said the other thing.
Grad student: Why does your mind always go straight to prostitutes?

Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: LabCat