Seminar coordinator: Between keeping my shoes on and keeping my britches on, there’ll be no running from me!

14 Fairfield Drive
Brookfield, Connecticut

Overheard by: Marissa

Social worker to passing ambulances and police cars: Shut up! God.

260 South Broad Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: lora

Photo person cleaning out pump nozzle of green hand sanitizer: This is just like picking boogers out of a toddler!

Prudential Plaza
Chicago, Illinois

Designer: Hey, I’m photoshopping — no spanking!

West 5th Avenue
Vancouver, British Columbia

Overheard by: designgrl

CSR: Do you know the part number of the item you are looking for?
Customer: It’s C-S…
CSR: C-S? As in ‘cat sandwich’?

Braintree, Massachusetts

Call center rep: Well, what do you do when a random person at a call center says, ‘I love you’?

1440 Broadway
New York, New York

Counselor: Is that a Tupac T-shirt? You’re five. Tupac wasn’t alive when you were born. What do you know about Tupac?
Kid: I know the haters killed him.
Counselor: Touché.

Richmond, Virginia

Overheard by: SB

Grad student: Let's get that second kit, there's more solution and tubes.
Advisor: Great, we'll get more buck for our dollar.
Grad student: Um, what?
Advisor: More buck for your dollar.
Grad student: Do you mean “more bang for our buck”?
Advisor: Well, I thought that's what it was, but that sounds dirty. Like prostitutes or something, so I said the other thing.
Grad student: Why does your mind always go straight to prostitutes?

Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: LabCat

Consultant on phone with spouse: Oh, I’m just reading a blog post about a woman flying from San Francisco to Newark, and this guy sitting next to her starting to watch hardcore porn on his laptop… Well I’d hope he was wearing headphones! Did your father feed the baby yogurt again?

5th and Market
San Francisco, California

Receptionist: Farce? Is that like farts?

352 7th Avenue
New York, New York