Receptionist: Hi, this is Pat*. I was calling to see if you wanted to set an appointment.
Customer on speakerphone: Yes, I do.
Receptionist: So, it looks like I set you an appointment before. What happened?
Customer on speakerphone: … You cancelled it.
Receptionist: Hm. I wonder why.
Atlanta, Georgia
Writer: So, if I get the new position I’ll be your boss.
Designer: That’s what I hear.
Writer: I could be all… pimp-slapping you if you got out of line. Or, like, assigning you all kinds of work while I’m laying on the beach drinking one percent milk.
Designer: With that raise you could be drinking whole milk!
16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
Investigative journalist on phone: Honey, please, you’ve got to get me those records. Without them we don’t have a story! In order to do this story, I really need you to get me those records, honey. I know you have access to them… Well, no, you won’t technically be lying to the police.
TV news show
New York, New York
Overheard by: Lindsay
Clerk: Are you worried?
Rehab counselor using laptop: No. Why?
Clerk: People always look worried while they are trying to memorize the Internet.
4555 Central Avenue
Columbus, Indiana
Cube girl on phone, laughing: That must be really annoying, someone telling you your mom’s dead and then they tell you your dad’s dead, too!
100 Avenue of the Americas
New York, New York
Phone rep #1: What’s that?! A cheeseburger without cheese?!
Phone rep #2: Yeah. It’s called a hamburger.
500 North Central Expressway
Plano, Texas
Overheard by: amused coworker
Consultant: Pedophiles? Is that my cue?
175 South 3rd Street
Columbus, Ohio
HR hottie: I can’t think right now! Between Excel and porno midgets I’m nuts!
Westchester, New York
Drone on phone: Slammed, yeah. This new account is kicking my ass. Why is Burt Reynolds coming? I thought he was dead.
Braselton, Georgia
Girl: Is this gonna be one of those phone conversations where you talk to yourself for 10 minutes and I just kinda listen?
Student Union, East Carolina University
Greenville, North Carolina
