New York

Receptionist on phone: …And you sure you don’t have the ISBN?…Oh, you do? You’re delicious!

1230 6th Avenue
New York, NY

Co-worker #1: We’re like The A-Team.
Co-worker #2: I get to be BA Baracus since I’m the only black one.

1634 Broadway
New York, NY

Employee: Why is the bathroom locked and has a sign saying “Out of Order”? What happened?
Manager: I think something’s wrong with it.
Employee: Is anyone in there, I thought I heard someone?
Manager: You never know–but bathrooms are private so you shouldn’t knock.

623 3rd Avenue
New York, NY

Office monkey #1: Bro, this job is like motherfucking cocaine!
Office monkey #2: How’s that?
Office monkey #1: It seems fun at first but then it fucks your asshole raw.

1211 6th Avenue
New York, NY

Speaker: What was the craziest thing you’ve ever done?
Attendee: Jumped off a bridge into a river in Fiji.
Speaker: Why’d you do that?
Attendee: ‘Cause Tony Robbins told me to.

481 8th Avenue
New York, NY

Coordinator: Is it like really hot in here, or am I having early menopause?

150 5th Avenue
New York, NY

Co-worker #1: God! I hate it when those two have to work together! It’s so painful. It’s like watching a monkey and a dolphin try to build a house.
Co-worker #2: I think you underestimate the communication skills of wildlife.

150 Broadway
New York, NY

AR person: You gotta love it when they send in a prayer card with their check.

1250 Broadway
New York, NY

Guy: Why the hell is my computer running so slow?…Ah! here it is: “System Idle Process” is taking up 98% of my CPU…fucking Microsoft…

1701 North Street
Endicott, New York

Building service: Coffee’s shit, man.
White collar: Yeah. Gotta work, though.

The building service person snorts an imaginary line from the countertop.

Building service: Dat’s da shit you need, man. Coke id up.

1114 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY