New York

Office monkey #1: Bro, this job is like motherfucking cocaine!
Office monkey #2: How’s that?
Office monkey #1: It seems fun at first but then it fucks your asshole raw.

1211 6th Avenue
New York, NY

Speaker: What was the craziest thing you’ve ever done?
Attendee: Jumped off a bridge into a river in Fiji.
Speaker: Why’d you do that?
Attendee: ‘Cause Tony Robbins told me to.

481 8th Avenue
New York, NY

Coordinator: Is it like really hot in here, or am I having early menopause?

150 5th Avenue
New York, NY

Co-worker #1: God! I hate it when those two have to work together! It’s so painful. It’s like watching a monkey and a dolphin try to build a house.
Co-worker #2: I think you underestimate the communication skills of wildlife.

150 Broadway
New York, NY

AR person: You gotta love it when they send in a prayer card with their check.

1250 Broadway
New York, NY

Guy: Why the hell is my computer running so slow?…Ah! here it is: “System Idle Process” is taking up 98% of my CPU…fucking Microsoft…

1701 North Street
Endicott, New York

Building service: Coffee’s shit, man.
White collar: Yeah. Gotta work, though.

The building service person snorts an imaginary line from the countertop.

Building service: Dat’s da shit you need, man. Coke id up.

1114 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY

Suit: You’re Asian, so I bet you want tea. We Americans like our morning coffee.
Asian interviewee #1: No, I had Starbucks on the way here.
Suit: We Americans like milk in our coffee. Asians drink it black, right?
Asian interviewee #2: No, I take mine light and sweet.
Suit: Well, you still wanna work here, right?

Midtown
New York, New York

Overheard by: Laughing in America

Student #1: What's Joe's last name?
Student #2: Joe who?

Upstate New York

Office girl #1 in skimpy outfit gathering promotional material: You look whipped.
Office girl #2: Yeah… I had a date. I didn’t get home until four A.M.
Office girl #1: I didn’t get to sleep until four A.M., either, but that’s because I was having sex… with my man…
Office girl #2: Yeah, I was at a bar. It was the first date. We got really drunk and I rode him in the booth.
Office girl #1: Nice.

1142 Broadway
New York, New York

Overheard by: Hellooo… I am sitting right here!