Female coworker: Did you hear that Bobbi lost her father?
Chorus of ‘Awwws’ from other coworkers.
Male coworker: Why doesn’t she look in her cunt? Everyone else seems to have been in there.
Ruby Tuesday’s
Carle Place, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Female boss: Well, there’s other ways to handle it.
Male boss: I know. It becomes, ‘Why should I fire you when I can make your job miserable and make you quit?’
55th Street and 3rd Avenue
New York, New York
Coworker on speakerphone with messenger center: Last name is Baratta.
Messenger center: Spell it.
Coworker: B-A-R-A-T-T-A.
Messenger center, repeating: P-V-R-G-G-A?
Coworker: … What does that even spell?!
1 Park Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Davey
Black coworker: Oh, it’s Hanukkah! That’s why I keep seeing so many Jews around.
Jewish coworker: What the fuck? You just wait until Martin Luther King day and see what I say to you…
42nd Street and Park Avenue
New York, New York
Lawyer to secretary: Now, you treat my sex offender nicely. He’ll be here with his one-armed wife later.
Buffalo, New York
Overheard by: Alex
CFO with faraway gaze: It would be a lot of fun to defraud people.
535 8th Avenue
New York, New York
Girl: So, I’m really scared because I got jury duty. I don’t want to be in the same room as a criminal.
Paralegal: Well, maybe they’re not a criminal. That’s the point of jury duty.
Girl: But… aren’t they guilty if they were arrested? I mean, the police don’t just go around arresting people if they’re innocent.
1355 Avenue of the Americas
New York, New York
Overheard by: sam
Manager on phone to computer terminal manufacturer: That terminal still isn’t working properly, and if you don’t fix it soon the customer is going to tell me to shove it up my ass… And I’m not prepared to do that at this time.
1462 Erie Boulevard
Schenectady, New York
Overheard by: It wouldn’t fit mine
Paralegal #1: Don’t you remember Zweiback cookies when you were little?
Paralegal #2: Uh, no.
Associate: You white people are into different things.
180 Maiden Lane
New York, New York
Guy: I’ll have a Number Three, and can I have a small chocolate shake?
Bimbette employee: No.
Guy: No, I can’t have a shake?
Bimbette employee: Nope.
Guy: Are you saying no to the ‘small,’ the ‘chocolate,’ or the ‘shake…’?
Bimbette employee: Both.
Guy: So, both of the three, huh?
Bimbette employee: Yes, but you can have vanilla.
Guy: I would love vanilla, thank you.
McDonald’s, 53rd Street and 2nd Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: brian
