Employee: Okay, I’m going to hang up now, but I want you to continue talking.
524 West 57th Street
New York, New York
Employee: Okay, I’m going to hang up now, but I want you to continue talking.
524 West 57th Street
New York, New York
Coworker #1: I saw you on the train this morning. You should have sat with me.
Coworker #2: Why didn’t you say hello when we got off?
Coworker #1: You were, like, speed racer walking towards the building, and I waddle. Waddlers can only move so fast, and I had maxed out.
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: A Fellow Waddler
Lady: They’re going to have fish, chicken, whips, whatever.
440 Park Avenue
New York, New York
Cube dweller: I still don’t know if that was a man in a costume or a real nun that was grocery shopping!
Buffalo, New York
Coworker: One of my high school teachers was fired for having inappropriate relationships with students… Apparently he had a thing for sisters.
New girl: Like nuns?
32 Avenue of the Americas
New York, New York
Overheard by: Kate Elizabeth Queram
Veteran employee: Looks like all the seats are taken for the meeting.
Newbie: Well, there are some by me — looks like I am somewhat of a pariah!
Veteran employee: What? Oh you mean piranha — the word is ‘piranha.’ It’s a fish from, like, Australia. Oh, wait, does that mean you’re gonna bite me?
75 Washington Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Brian Brinegar
Supervisor: It’s too bad our schedules are getting so full. It used to be that whenever someone needed to get off, someone else could put out for them.
666 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: The happy new guy in the office
Toddler: What are you doing?
Mom: I’m changing your diaper.
Toddler: Now what are you doing?
Mom: I’m wiping you.
Toddler: Where’s my penis?
Mom: It’s right there.
Toddler: Where’s Daddy?
Stop & Shop
New Paltz, New York
Coworker #1: You touched the nipple? You broke it?
Stan*: I didn’t break the nipple!
Coworker #2, walking in: What did you break, Stan?
420 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Investigative journalist on phone: Honey, please, you’ve got to get me those records. Without them we don’t have a story! In order to do this story, I really need you to get me those records, honey. I know you have access to them… Well, no, you won’t technically be lying to the police.
TV news show
New York, New York
Overheard by: Lindsay
