Supervisor: It’s too bad our schedules are getting so full. It used to be that whenever someone needed to get off, someone else could put out for them.
666 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: The happy new guy in the office
Supervisor: It’s too bad our schedules are getting so full. It used to be that whenever someone needed to get off, someone else could put out for them.
666 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: The happy new guy in the office
Toddler: What are you doing?
Mom: I’m changing your diaper.
Toddler: Now what are you doing?
Mom: I’m wiping you.
Toddler: Where’s my penis?
Mom: It’s right there.
Toddler: Where’s Daddy?
Stop & Shop
New Paltz, New York
Coworker #1: You touched the nipple? You broke it?
Stan*: I didn’t break the nipple!
Coworker #2, walking in: What did you break, Stan?
420 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Investigative journalist on phone: Honey, please, you’ve got to get me those records. Without them we don’t have a story! In order to do this story, I really need you to get me those records, honey. I know you have access to them… Well, no, you won’t technically be lying to the police.
TV news show
New York, New York
Overheard by: Lindsay
Telephone salesperson: May I please speak to Eric Smith*?
Receptionist: He doesn’t work here any more, can I take a message?
Telephone salesperson: No, that’s okay, I’ll call him back.
1270 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: Brian
Chick: Who was that?
Guy: He works for one of our other brands. Isn’t he hot?
Chick: Very handsome. Is he Indian or black?
Guy: Black.
Chick: Dark meat’s the best.
Guy: I haven’t done that yet.
Chick: Really? You haven’t lived!
575 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Thompson
Cube girl on phone, laughing: That must be really annoying, someone telling you your mom’s dead and then they tell you your dad’s dead, too!
100 Avenue of the Americas
New York, New York
Chick: Excuse me, do you know where I could find bedding?
Salesclerk with very heavy accent: Bedding suit?
Chick: No, not bathing suits — bedding.
Salesclerk: [Blank stare.]Chick: You know, pillowcases? Sheets?
Salesclerk: [Blank stare.]Chick: Never mind.
Saks Fifth Avenue
New York, New York
Office chick: Is that an Islamic newspaper?
Office guy: It’s the Wall Street Journal.
15 East 26th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Erak
Boss to new receptionist: These are some of the noises I make that will annoy you. This is my mouse clicking. This is me kicking the desk in front of me. This is my chair squeaking. Oh, and sometimes I just say ‘shit,’ like I have Tourette’s.
Receptionist: Okay… [They go back to work.]Boss: Shit.
200 West 16th St
New York, New York
