New York

Exec: Okay, before I forget…um. I already forgot.

460 Park Ave South
New York, NY

Overheard by: J.B.

Co-worker #1: Why do they only lock the girls’ bathroom and not the guys’?
Co-worker #2: So you don’t come in and rape us.
Co-worker #1: Yeah, that’s true.

475 Park Avenue South
New York, NY

Customer: Are you a chicken?
Employee: No, I’m a sales associate.

767 Fifth Avenue
New York, NY

Co-worker #1: I don’t understand why she had to take her birthday off. I mean, if it’s just your birthday and you’re not doing anything special, what’s the point?
Co-worker #2: Yeah, I’d only take the day off if it was my birthday and I had cancer.

147 Columbus Avenue
New York, NY

Overheard by: Eve S. Dropper

Boss: Those cupcakes are delicious. What a sugar rush!
Intern: I broke out in hives.
Boss: In hives?
Intern: A rash. My skin is very sensitive.
Boss: To sugar?
Intern: Yup.
Boss: That’s amazing.
Intern: When I was a kid I got sick and I had to have, like, ten X-rays a day. Literally, five X-rays a day. And I think that messed up my photons.
Boss: Your photons?
Intern: Yeah, that’s how X-rays work, you know? They reverse your photons. That’s how they get the image.
Boss: Oh.
Intern: That’s why my skin is so sensitive, because they messed up the photons. They won’t admit it, because they don’t want me to sue them. But I know what’s up.

10 Rockefeller Plaza
New York, NY

Overheard by: pixelvisions

Boss: We will be taken off the internet. It is slowing down productivity.

5 minutes pass.

Worker #1: …What will I do all day?
Worker #2: Work.
Worker #1: Ha, ha! Whatever.

3275 Steinway Street
Astoria, New York

Co-worker #1: I just got tricked into using a pen that shocked me!
Co-worker #2: Oh, no. You okay?
Co-worker #1: Well, shocking throws off your electroids…
Co-worker #2: Electroids? What are those?
Co-worker #1: …Well, electroid is not in here, but this is an old dictionary.

600 Willowbrook Office Park
Fairport, New York

Musician: Nice of you to join us.
Exec: Well, you were 30 minutes late; I went to take a shit!
Musician: You’re entitled to that.
Exec: I washed my hand if you want to shake it.

875 6th Avenue
New York, NY

Overheard by: N & S

Receptionist on phone: …And you sure you don’t have the ISBN?…Oh, you do? You’re delicious!

1230 6th Avenue
New York, NY

Co-worker #1: We’re like The A-Team.
Co-worker #2: I get to be BA Baracus since I’m the only black one.

1634 Broadway
New York, NY