Worker: So the Christmas party is mandatory?
Boss: Of course not, but if you don’t show you’ll probably be ostracized.
Worker: …And I have to sign a waiver to drink?
Boss: Do you think a company of lawyers would let everyone drink, then drive, and not cover their asses?
962 Coronado Boulevard
Universal City, Texas
Tech Support: Okay, I need you to go to a command prompt and type
“‘mail from:’ your email address” and this should get you a connection.
User: It didn’t work.
Tech Support: Okay, so you typed “‘mail from:’ your email address” and it didn’t work for you?
User: Wait a minute. Did you say you wanted me to type “nail” or “mail”?
1010 Niagara Street
Buffalo, New York
Co-worker #1: Hey [Rachel]: you’re not a math person, are you?
Co-worker #2: Why, because I have breasts?
1014 Boswell Avenue
Crete, Nebraska
Boss: [Elizabeth], we wish you the best. You are a nice person and if you ever want to come back to work here, you are welcome. Now where is [Rachel]? [Rachel], do you want to say a few words? Because I can only comment on [Elizabeth] as a person, not her work.
1425 New York Avenue NW
Washington, DC
Co-worker: How about the software configuration?
Analyst: Your questions are very annoying!
Co-worker: I’m guessing you shouldn’t tell clients they are annoying.
8315 Century Park Court
San Diego, California
Supervisor: We have to use E. G.
Co-worker: “E. G.”?
Supervisor: Yeah, engineering judgment.
20000 Rotunda Drive
Dearborn, Michigan
Receptionist: Argh! My arm is so itchy. I’m, like, allergic to work!
Co-worker: Stop scratching; you are making it worse! At lunch, go
and get an antihistamine to stop the swelling.
Receptionist: Antihistamine or antiinflammatory? I think it’s
inflamed. What’s the difference anyway?
Co-worker: Antihistamine is something that is not histamine, and
antiinflammatory is something that’s not inflammatory.
Receptionist: So I’ll ask the chemist?
25 Parramatta Road
Underwood, Queensland
Australia
Co-worker #1: I’m going to have to take a lot of time to help my wife out when the baby comes. Are we allowed any paternity leave?
Co-worker #2: The father gets 3 days. I don’t know what you get.
1 Bay Avenue
Montclair, New Jersey
Overheard by: Jonathan Nelson
Flunky #1: The internet is broken.
Flunky #2: What’s wrong?
Flunky #1: I can’t get to any sites.
3001 Broadway Avenue
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Editor #1: Did you check these names religiously?
Editor #2: Yeah, he’s praying they’re all right.
2 Holt Steet
Surry Hills, New South Wales
Australia
