Questions

Co-worker: I found three turds this morning. Do we have someone who comes and takes care of that?

2320 West Highway 76
Branson, Missouri

Co-worker #1: Don’t you think the enter key is kind of phallic? You know–how it’s all “enter” with an arrow pointing?
Co-worker #2: Huh. Yeah. Weird.
Co-worker #1: And there’s the backspace button too. Arrow points the same way.
Co-worker #2: Yeah, maybe that’s so gay people don’t feel left out?

350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY

Co-worker #1: Did you know that the egg yolk was never able to be a chicken unless it’s fertilized?
Co-worker #2: Yeah, I mean, like eating this hard-boiled egg is like eating the eggs that you expel during your period.
Co-worker #1: Yeah, like right now I mean, you could get down and just lap it up.

845 United Nations Plaza
New York, NY

Overheard by: Sharon

Nurse: Is there a reason that there’s a “no pregnant women” sign on that room? Because the patient in there is pregnant.

1500 East Medical Center Drive
Ann Arbor, Michigan

Overheard by: Maude Lynne

Candidate: Do you have a listing of job openings?
HR Secretary: Yes, there is a list on the blue piece of paper on the table.
Candidate: Which one?
HR Secretary: The blue piece of paper.
Candidate: This one?
HR Secretary: Yes.
Candidate: I’m not qualified for any of these. Do you have any other positions open?
HR Secretary: Did you turn it over? There are more job listings on the back.
Candidate: Oh.

155 Deer Hill Avenue
Danbury, Connecticut

Co-worker #1: I can’t believe that they fired that temp.
Co-worker #2: Yeah, he wasn’t working very hard and he was goofing off.
Co-worker #1: That’s not very fair. By the way, do you have the new football pool sheet? I lost mine.

4950 College Boulevard
Leawood, Kansas

Overheard by: Ron Zinn

Co-worker #1: Oh, you look nice. Are you going somewhere?
Co-worker #2: No, I just never went home last night.

2105 Bancroft Way
Berkeley, California

Underling: What do you think about the new price increase?
Team leader: I think; that’s all I know.

1070 Technology Drive
Venice, Florida

Manager: Good morning ladies. What are you whispering about?
Secretary #1 & #2: You.

11909 Spencer Road
Houston, Texas

Client on speaker: I need one of those lights that you put on the camera, and a metal thing, and also the curly thing.
Rental Department: So you need a flash, a stroboframe bracket and the off-camera cord?
Client on speaker: Yeah, sure, I guess. Oh, and do you have one of these things that see the light?
Rental Department: A flash meter you mean?
Client on speaker: Sure, I guess.
Rental Department: Sir, are you the photographer?
Client on speaker: Yes, why?

1111 North Cherry Street
Chicago, Illinois