Questions

Co-worker #1: Are you dipping in the company ink?
Co-worker #2: Nope, the ink was red.

4221 74 Avenue NW
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia

Employee #1: Do you know how much these master cylinder gland nuts cost?
Employee #2: What,we are selling the gland nuts by themselves now? They are usually attached to the master cylinder…
Employee #3: I’d say gland nuts attachd to the master cylinder are priceless.

13601 FM 529
Houston, Texas

Manager: …can you work a couple extra hours? [Nick]’s not coming in again.
Cook #1: Sure. Why ain’t he coming in this time?
Manager: He’s in the hospital.
Cook #2: Hospital? You can’t get crack at a hospital.
Manager: Why does he keep going there, then?

33703 Woodward Avenue
Birmingham, Michigan

Developer #1: It’s obvious the code will work. You’ve coded, you can see it will work. You can see it will work, unless you’re stupid.
Developer #2: You’re not stupid, are you?

501 Marquette Avenue
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: fmm

Co-worker #1: It’s so dry in here, I can feel the skin on my face drying up from the inside out.
Co-worker #2: Do you use moisturizer?
Co-worker #1: Oh yes, if I didn’t my face would look just like my grandpa’s…and he’s been dead for seven years.

1301 West Chestnut Street
Virginia, Minnesota

Boss: We will be taken off the internet. It is slowing down productivity.

5 minutes pass.

Worker #1: …What will I do all day?
Worker #2: Work.
Worker #1: Ha, ha! Whatever.

3275 Steinway Street
Astoria, New York

Pharmacist #1: Wow, this chair is really great! Whose chair is this?
Pharmacist #2: It belongs to [Dana]. Isn’t it great? He got it for his back or something.
[Dana]: You have no idea how many people I had to sleep with to get that chair!

800 28th Street E
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Worker #1: Did you pass the bar?
Worker #2: Yeah, the salad bar.
Consultant: I don’t eat salad.
Worker #2: That’s why you passed it.

100 Summer Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Receptionist on phone: …And you sure you don’t have the ISBN?…Oh, you do? You’re delicious!

1230 6th Avenue
New York, NY

CSR: Can you give me your daughter’s measurements?

714 NE Hancock Street
Portland, Oregon