I Was a Cornhusker Cheerleader, Y’know

Female clerk: Hey *Mark, you don’t sound like you want to be here today.
Male clerk: And you want to be here today?
Female clerk: You want me to rub it off for ya?

Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska

Overheard by: Db’s Mom

Posted on April 23, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Employees, Feelings, Nebraska, Offers and requests, Possible Sexual Harassment, Questions

And When I Call Her, She Answers Only to Say, “I’m Not Here– Leave a Message”

VP: I can’t understand some people. I emailed *Karen with a specific question and she just replied, “I am currently out of the office and will return in one week”. Why didn’t she answer my question?

Beachwood, Ohio

Posted on April 22, 2008
Default, Dumb Bosses, Executives, Office Politics, Ohio, Questions, Travel

When It Comes to Rorschach Tests, You Have to Think Outside the Box

Art director: Do these look like vaginas to you?
Research manager: Actually, it could be shrimp cocktail.

Seventh Avenue
New York City, New York

Overheard by: Where’s the horseradish?

Posted on April 22, 2008
Animals, Body Parts, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Designers and Photographers, Employees, Meals and Snacks, New York, Questions, Sensory Experiences

For the Last Time, “Mailer-Daemon” Is Not a Person

VP: The guy’s stupider than he looks.
Peon: What does he look like?
VP: I don’t know, I’ve never seen him.

Beachwood, Ohio

Posted on April 22, 2008
Bosses, Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Employees, Insults, Ohio, Questions, Sensory Experiences

A Man Should Know How to Lay a Perfect Bead

Radio commercial: Next time you’re in the shower, take a look at that caulk!
Office worker: What?!

Peters Brook Dr
Hooksett, New Hampshire

Posted on April 21, 2008
Advice, Body Parts, Coworkers, Default, New Hampshire, Physical Appearance, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Words

When High-Concept Office Furniture Goes Too Far

Office drone #1, shouting over cubical wall: Have you been pegged?
Office drone #2: Apparently.

New Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: McNasty

Posted on April 18, 2008
California, Coworkers, Cubicles, Employees, Possible Sexual Harassment, Questions, Sexuality, Weirdness

The Flash Bubble Game Is My Gateway to High Achievement

Rep #1: Where is the Ford script?
Copywriter, playing flash bubble game: I am working on it right now.
[one minute later]Rep #2: Where is the taxi script?
Copywriter, playing flash bubble game: I am working on it right now.
[less than a minute later]Rep #3: Where is the restaurant chain script?
Copywriter, playing flash bubble game: I am working on it right now.
Rep #3: At least turn the volume down dude…

Robertson Street
Fortitude Valley
Australia

Posted on April 18, 2008
Advice, Australia, Comebacks, Coworkers, Dumb Employees, Internet, Lies, Offers and requests, Questions

Then I’m Not Sure My NAFTA Piece Will Make Any Sense

Editor-in-chief: So I can’t say “pubic” on one of our editorials?
Opinion editor: No.
Editor-in-chief: And you won’t let me say “Anal osculation?”
Opinion editor: No!

E Pratt St
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Working at

Posted on April 17, 2008
Body Parts, Coworkers, Design and Editorial, Maryland, Offers and requests, Questions, Words, Writers and Editors

Better Than Last Year’s Price Club Fiasco

Diner in expensive restaurant, arguing over the bill for his family Christmas party: This wine is a lot cheaper in the grocery store!
Manager: And what would your in-laws think of you if you had the family Christmas party in isle three of a super Wal-Mart?

Illinios Street
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Shatmandu

Posted on April 16, 2008
Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Default, Dumb Customers, Family, Gripes, Indiana, Money, Questions, Smart Employees

Good Thing It Said “Happy Arbor Day”

Man on phone: What do you mean he’s not dead? I’ve bought his wife a card and put it through the door!

Leatherhead
Surrey
England

Overheard by: Bav

Posted on April 16, 2008
Compare and contrast, Death, Default, England, Family, On the phone, Questions

Questions