Nurse, screening for life insurance: So tell me about your siblings…
Male worker: Well, I have 3 sisters, two older and one who’s a twin. I’m the youngest by two minutes.
Nurse: Oh, really? You have a twin sister? Are you identical?
Male worker: Are you serious? You’re a professional nurse and you’re asking me if I’m identical to my twin sister? Is this screening over because I’ve got work to do.
Tacoma, Washington
Overheard by: Stan Green
Systems administrator: No, it isn’t a flowchart, it’s a chart that just happens to flow.
Aberdeen
Scotland
United Kingdom
Overheard by: Auditor in the corner
Developer, talking about boss: Yeah, and I was giving him crap because he wouldn’t come out with us because his wife’s gay… I mean pregnant!
State & Water
Peoria, Illinois
Overheard by: only girl in an office of men…
Editor: I want a story about a person.
Intern: What kind?
Editor: Oh, I don’t know. But it could be a lollipop man, who straps a rocket to the back of his lollipop, and now flies to New York in five seconds.
Edinburgh
Scotland
Man: Is Murphy* a man? Or a woman?
Woman: Does it matter?
Man: Um yeah. I was going to ask Terry out, and the shape of his? Her? Genitals rather matters to me.
Woman: Bigot.
Church in Victoria
British Columbia
Canadia
Frustrated supervisor: Yeah, I’m down with all this safety crap, but you know? Sometimes I wish I had a job where I could potentially cut my hand off.
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Mr. Safety
Co-worker #1: You’re wearing socks with sandals.
Co-worker #2: So?
Co-worker #1: You’re lucky I’m even talking to you.
Decatur Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
Coworker #1: Yeah, I went to Egypt but I didn’t really like it that much because it was so commercialized.
Coworker #2: I felt the same way about Israel… It was like there were just too many gift shops.
Ex-army coworker: I went to Iraq. It wasn’t commercialized at all.
Schaumburg, Illinois
Overheard by: Emily
Clueless bible-thumper chick: Everyone should have to see “Passion of the Christ” so they wouldn’t take our Lord’s name in vain anymore. And do you notice how it’s only God’s name that they use? You never hear anyone saying “Oh, Muhammad Ali this, or Muhammad Ali that”.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Poor Jebus
Female peon: Linda*, I heard you are on a diet again!
Linda: Why? D’you have a diet?
Female peon: No, I am just clarifying. This way when I see you eat certain things, I can remind you that you are on a diet.
New York City, New York
