Owner: Have you proposed to her yet? When are you gonna propose to that girl? You're not getting a bonus, a raise, or a review until you get down on your knees.
Employee: (smirks)
Owner: For her!
Rogers, Arkansas
Owner: Have you proposed to her yet? When are you gonna propose to that girl? You're not getting a bonus, a raise, or a review until you get down on your knees.
Employee: (smirks)
Owner: For her!
Rogers, Arkansas
Office worker: Do you know why this code is causing a problem?
Web developer manager: I only know worthless things. I know all the lyrics to “American Pie,” but I can't remember my mother's phone number.
Piscataway, New Jersey
Overheard by: Caroline
Patient: Yeah, I have a twin brother about my age.
Presbyterian Hospital
New York, New York
Overheard by: Speechless RN
CEO, during meeting: Okay, that will wrap it up. Does anyone have anything else?
Manager: I just want everyone to know that I won't be around this weekend because my ex-wife told the kids they won't be having any fun this summer because she doesn't have any money. I am going to pick them up and try and let them have fun. So if you need me I won't be around.
(all room is silent)
CEO: Okay, then does anyone have anything else today?
Manhattan, New York
Sales to admin: I'll be missing golf next week because I'll be off getting married. Oh, wait… It's the week after next.
Jeannette, Pennsylvania
Dad: So, I need a male audio cable and a video cable with two female connections on each end.
Eight-year-old: Daddy…I thought males and females were like boys and girls. I'm confused.
Dad: Um…don't worry about it.
RadioShack
California
Overheard by: SK
Frustrated coworker, about daughter with object in her ear: I am not rewarding her for putting something in her body!
Tigard, Oregon
Security guard #1: Well you know Hitler's mother was Jewish.
Supervisor: I know! Wouldn't Freud have had a field day with that?
Security guard #2: Who?
Supervisor: You know, Sigmund Freud?
Security guard #2: Oh, the magician?
Security guard #1: What?
Security guard #2: You know, the magician with the tigers?
Supervisor: Thats Sigfried and Roy!
Lakeport, California
Woman #1: What are you doing for New Year's?
Woman #2: I don't have any plans yet, what about you?
Woman #1: Probably just sit at home and drink some wine.
Woman #2: Yeah, I did that last year, and I accidentally got completely bombed in front of my son, so I'm not doing that again.
Manhattan, New York
Male coworker: Your mom.
Female coworker #1: Leave that whore outta this.
Female coworker #2: Whoah, did she just say…?
Female coworker #1: Yes, I did.
Boss: The “h” word?
Female coworker #1: Actually, it's the “w” word.
Plainsboro, New Jersey
