Customer: Where is the fresh pasta?
Clerk: I don’t know. I’m new here, too.
Lompoc, California
Overheard by: Still Searching
Customer: Where is the fresh pasta?
Clerk: I don’t know. I’m new here, too.
Lompoc, California
Overheard by: Still Searching
Co-worker #1: Okay, that’s it.
Co-worker #2: What? Tell me that song doesn’t make you want to laugh.
Co-worker #1: It makes me want to shoot someone, then laugh.
270 South Flower Street
Burbank, California
Overheard by: Eric Johnson
Coworker #1: So you ate the cookies?
Coworker #2: Yeah, they had only been in the toilet for a second! Five second rule!
Coworker #1: That’s still disgusting.
Coworker #2: Well, hey, at least I didn’t lick my dirty foot.
Coworker #1: That was once! You’ve eaten cookies out of the toilet loads of times!
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Melissa
Scientist: What are the goals of this management plan?
Project manager: The goal is to come up with a plan to manage the system, but we are not authorized to actually manage anything.
Scientist: So the goal of this meeting is really an excuse for you to draw on the white board and act important?
3301 Gun Club Road
West Palm Beach, Florida
Co-Worker #1: Hey, I got a new joke. Anyone want to hear it?
Co-Worker #2: Not if it involves poop.
Co-Worker #3: Or chickens.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: disturbed
Voice on phone: Hi. I just wanted to ask if you’re open today?
Employee: No, we’re not. I just thought it would be fun to come over here on my free day. That it?
Voice on phone: … Well, that was rude [hangs up].
Cell phone store
Kansas City, Missouri
Exec: Hey [Nick], I’ve got a question for you.
Tax Manager: Yes?
Exec: I was thinking about you while I was in the shower this morning and–
Tax Manager: You probably shouldn’t be thinking about me in the
shower [James]; you’re a newly married man.
Exec: …
123 Robert S. Kerr Avenue
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Clerk: Okay, you have 12:45 and 1:45 subcommittees, AG is at 1:00, and Natural Resources is at 2: 00. I’m going to leave everything here on my desk and go do some work in the back office.
Senator: Do you even think I’m listening to you?
Clerk: No, not really.
State Capitol
Des Moines, Iowa
Manager: So, you’re back! How was your vacation?
Contractor: Well, I think I got a lot done.
Peon: That’s the most depressing thing I’ve ever heard.
909 A Street
Tacoma, Washington
Overheard by: Barnstable
Office worker: That's so rude!
Receptionist: I know, right? I'm just a receptionist, but I'm a good receptionist, so… Go blow yourself…
Adelaide
Australia
