He Couldn’t Stop and Had to Be Put Down

Project coordinator on phone: They moved people into my area… No! They already moved them into my area… Yes, I know it’s my area, dammit! I already peed on the desks and claimed them as mine!

Alexandria, Virginia

Overheard by: Still can’t stop laughing!!!

Posted on March 27, 2008
Bosses, Default, Geography & History, Gripes, Virginia

As a Freudian, He Thinks All Poontangs Stink

Therapist #1: Oh my god! Look at Britney Spears!
Therapist #2: I bet her poontang stinks.

California

Overheard by: Britney’s Got Issues

Posted on March 27, 2008
Body Parts, California, Coworkers, Default, Gripes, Pop culture, Sensory Experiences

My Timberlands Really Would’ve Come in Handy in This Weather

Girl looking out window at rain: I picked a bad day to go straight.

Clarksville, Tennessee

Overheard by: Girl 3

Posted on March 21, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Gripes, Sexuality, Tennessee, Time Management

The New Mantra of the Global Economy

Coworker on phone: Yeah. Unemployed is just un-fun. So, I’m happy with what I got. Even if it rapes me.

Alpharetta, Georgia

Posted on March 20, 2008
Compliments, Coworkers, Default, Georgia, Gripes, On the phone, Words

In North Carolina, You Can Get Anything at a Bait and Tackle Shop

Sales guy: I was thinking of going to Bert’s Bait and Tackle to get some hot dogs for lunch.
Sales assistant: You buy hot dogs at a bait and tackle store?!

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Posted on March 20, 2008
Default, Gripes, Meals and Snacks, North Carolina, Questions, Sales

You’re Right about the Cemetary Plots, but Not for the Reason You Think

Bimbette peon: This is my last weekend of being twenty-one! I can’t believe I’m so old. I might as well start picking out cemetery plots. I am going to get shit-faced this weekend — my last weekend of youth! [Old coworker stares blankly.]

Glen Allen, Virginia

Overheard by: Tisk Tisk

Posted on March 18, 2008
Age and ageing, Bimbettes, Default, Drinking, General Idiocy, Gripes, Virginia

The Black and White Cat Makeup, Mostly

Old black lady: Why you call your brother ‘KISS‘?!
Young black woman: Huh?
Old black lady: You know what ‘K-I-S-S’ stand for?
Young black woman: What?
Old black woman: ‘Knights in Satan’s Service.’ That’s right, ‘Knights in Satan’s Service! Why you call your brother ‘KISS‘?!

2201 South 10th Street
Ft. Pierce, Florida

Overheard by: Just here to get dialated

Posted on March 17, 2008
Coworkers, Creepsters, Default, Florida, General Idiocy, Gripes, Religion, Words

Needless to Say, She Doesn’t Swallow

Lady peon getting help setting up hot dog luncheon: I just don’t want to get any wiener juice on me!

11400 West Lake Park Drive
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Posted on March 14, 2008
Default, Dumb Employees, Gripes, Meals and Snacks, Wisconsin, Words

Getting Killed on Public Transportation Like That

Coworker #1: So, a magnetic train crashed in Germany, killing twenty-three.
Coworker #2: … Stupid Krauts.

70th Street and Park Avenue
New York, New York

Posted on March 12, 2008
Coworkers, Death, Default, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Gripes, New York

When Tech Support Fixes Courtney Love’s Computer, They Use Clorox and Surgical Masks

Nerdy worker: Well, unfortunately she had rubbed her butt across the floor. Man, it smelled so bad.
Coworker: Oh my god!
Nerdy worker: Yeah, we used some Febreze on it, so it was a little better yesterday.

Highway 280
Birmingham, Alabama

Overheard by: Glad I don’t work for Stanley Steamer

Posted on March 11, 2008
Alabama, Body Parts, Coworkers, Default, Dorks, Geeks, & Nerds, Gripes, Sensory Experiences

Gripes