The Black and White Cat Makeup, Mostly

Old black lady: Why you call your brother ‘KISS‘?!
Young black woman: Huh?
Old black lady: You know what ‘K-I-S-S’ stand for?
Young black woman: What?
Old black woman: ‘Knights in Satan’s Service.’ That’s right, ‘Knights in Satan’s Service! Why you call your brother ‘KISS‘?!

2201 South 10th Street
Ft. Pierce, Florida

Overheard by: Just here to get dialated

Posted on March 17, 2008
Coworkers, Creepsters, Default, Florida, General Idiocy, Gripes, Religion, Words

Needless to Say, She Doesn’t Swallow

Lady peon getting help setting up hot dog luncheon: I just don’t want to get any wiener juice on me!

11400 West Lake Park Drive
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Posted on March 14, 2008
Default, Dumb Employees, Gripes, Meals and Snacks, Wisconsin, Words

Getting Killed on Public Transportation Like That

Coworker #1: So, a magnetic train crashed in Germany, killing twenty-three.
Coworker #2: … Stupid Krauts.

70th Street and Park Avenue
New York, New York

Posted on March 12, 2008
Coworkers, Death, Default, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Gripes, New York

When Tech Support Fixes Courtney Love’s Computer, They Use Clorox and Surgical Masks

Nerdy worker: Well, unfortunately she had rubbed her butt across the floor. Man, it smelled so bad.
Coworker: Oh my god!
Nerdy worker: Yeah, we used some Febreze on it, so it was a little better yesterday.

Highway 280
Birmingham, Alabama

Overheard by: Glad I don’t work for Stanley Steamer

Posted on March 11, 2008
Alabama, Body Parts, Coworkers, Default, Dorks, Geeks, & Nerds, Gripes, Sensory Experiences

And Stop Sending Male Enhancement Spam to Our Printer

Boss: Brandon*, no matter what you think, those pills will not make you grow three inches. Get back to work.

55th Street and 3rd Avenue
New York, New York

Posted on March 11, 2008
Body Parts, Bosses, Default, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, Lies, New York

I Had a Really Sore Bone

Designer #1: I couldn’t walk for an hour after he finished with me the last time!
Designer #2: Uhhh…
Designer #1: My ankle guy!

Corporate Park Drive
Herndon, Virginia

Overheard by: the other other jen

Posted on March 11, 2008
Body Parts, Compliments, Default, Designers and Photographers, Gripes, Virginia

The Laissez-Faire Kind

Younger peon: Remember those Richard Scarry books with the animals all dressed up in–
Older peon: I haven’t read kids’ books since the second grade. Seriously.
Younger peon: What, your kids never read children’s books? What kind of parent are you?!

150 Federal Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on March 7, 2008
Arts, Coworkers, Default, Family, Gripes, Massachusetts

“Night Sweats Are the Best Thing Since Dark Side of the Moon!” Raves Rolling Stone

Manager #1: These mood swings are driving me crazy. Everyone in my house is afraid of me. They are all walking on eggshells.
Manager #2: Menopause rocks.

365 West Passaic Street
Rochelle Park, New Jersey

Overheard by: cubicle right outside