Time Management

Supervisor to manager: You know I’m leaving work early today, right?
Manager: That’s right… For what, again?
Supervisor: I’m getting my cat shaved.
(pause)
Supervisor: My cat… like, our pet cat. A feline.

Ambassador East Hotel
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: laughing one cubicle over

Hostess: I once gave everyone in my restaurant an Adderall. We had never been more efficient!

Charlotte, North Carolina

Woman #1: Hi! You must be new here. What’s your name?
Woman #2: Anna*
Woman #1: Anna, when did you start?
Anna: Five years ago.

700 West Capitol Avenue
Little Rock, Arkansas

Menopausal admin to cube farm: I'm late for my mammogram appointment… If anybody needs me, that's where I'll be.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Minding my own

Support staff #1, about cute work experience girl: Ohh, if only I were 10 years younger…
Support staff #2: She'd be ten.

Bournemouth
Dorset, England

30-something coworker to staff member’s nephew: So, you can get weapons… Can you also cast spells and do magic?
Nephew, playing a medieval computer game: Yeah. That’s called ‘Religion.’ Some people get really into religion, but I don’t. I just like killing stuff.

University of Sydney office
Sydney
Australia

Overheard by: Wil Dog

Suit: Why hasn’t this customer’s problem been fixed yet?
Tech Guy: Because I’m the only person supporting this product; I’m really backlogged here. Every time I close one log I open four more. We don’t have enough people here to keep up.
Suit: Oh…well keep up the good work.

500 Lafayette Road
Hampton, New Hampshire

Client on phone, returning from lunch: What, we have a meeting now? I’ll be there in ten minutes. Is [the boss] around?
Admin: Yeah, he’s right here.
Client: Good, go kick him in the shin for me.
Admin: Um, you’re on speakerphone.
Client: I hate you! How many times have I told you never to put me on speakerphone!?

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Guy #1: Busy day tomorrow.
Guy #2: Oh yeah? What you got going on?
Guy #1: I’m going to pick up my babymamma tomorrow around 8 in the morning. We got a busy day ahead of us.
Guy #2: Word, you hanging out with your son?
Guy #1: Nope.
Guy #2: Oh.

Pause

Guy #1: Know any good hotels that charge by the hour?

State Capitol
Albany, New York

Coworker: So wait, did it happen on September or November 11th?

Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: J