Black female coworker: Oooh, honey, I love me some fags. Fags is the best girlfriends.
White queer coworker: That’s ’cause we all want to be black women!
White female coworker: Can the rest of us get workplace diversity hours for listening to this shit?
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Giggling in my cube
Female worker #1: You know he’s doing a show here, right?
Female worker #2: Oh, someone get me a tissue, my panties are wet.
Barnes & Noble
Greenfield, Wisconsin
Overheard by: darkhorse
Peon #1: But you don’t drink that coffee.
Peon #2: I just want something down my throat.
Peon #1: Oh, you shouldn’t say that.
Peon #2: I mean I just want something warm down my throat.
Peon #1: You shouldn’t say that either.
Stevens Creek Boulevard
Cupertino, California
Male program manager: I got a hair in my mouth…[pulls it out] Gross…
Male manager: It’s not mine, I don’t have any down there.
Redmond, Washington
Overheard by: uhhh…what?
Office drone #1, shouting over cubical wall: Have you been pegged?
Office drone #2: Apparently.
New Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: McNasty
CFO: So what will it be like? Should I be the sheep and you the one who drags me around? Oh, here’s the check.
New York City, New York
Overheard by: just waiting for a check
Black salesman: How do you know about that part of town?
White manager: Coz that’s where the bitches is at!
Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Anonymous Temp
Salesman: That man was crazy!
Architect: Was he gay?
Salesman: No, he’s too old to be gay!
Williamsburg, Virginia
Overheard by: Not too old
Prospective intern #1: So, how was it?
Prospective intern #2: Dude, he mentioned EBTIDA so many times that I got a boner.
Broad Street
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Lloyd Blankfein
Underling to boss, incredulous: The lord was cock-blocking you?!
Boss: Sure! It’s in the bible!
Los Angeles, California
