Co-worker on phone: When you get out of the subway station start walking North–
Manager: Don’t tell them that…your North is different from my North and it’s a tarantula downpour outside. You don’t want them walking the wrong way in the rain.
Co-worker: Everyone’s North is the same and it’s torrential downpour.
Manager: Everyone’s North is the same? I always get my Norths mixed up.
535 8th Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Angie Rowe
Purchasing: Hey, can we print from Word?
Marketing: Ah…What?
2801 Red Lion Road
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Patient: Do you offer any discounts if this is my second surgery?
Receptionist: Sure, we can throw in a free appendectomy or colonoscopy… Your choice.
Orange Avenue
Orlando, Florida
Coworker to another: What do you want to me to say to them? A lot of my job is lying. And overcharging.
Chicago, Illinois
Senior consultant: Hey, what’s the difference between four and five?
Consultant: How am I getting paid less than you?
Waterloo, London
Overheard by: he said what I was thinking
Boss: Okay, before we cross that Rubicon … Wait, does everyone know what the Rubicon was?
Minion: Yeah! It's the brain!
Boss: (blinks) Okay… Anyone else have a guess?
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: veni vidi deridei
Office lady #1: Are you going to do me next?
Office lady #2: Yeah, I have all the tools. Let's do this.
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Hank
Coworker: Hey, I have a question.
Female coworker: Hold on a sec, I'm trimming my balls.
Fort Worth, Texas
Overheard by: Sarah
Receptionist: I’m going to Hawaii next week. If I wanted to swim under the entire island, how deep would I have to go?
1600 Utica Avenue
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Male cube rat: Hey, Amanda, you wanna come sing “Endless Love” with me?
Chesapeake, Virginia
Overheard by: Project Manager
