Cubicle guy, coming around the corner: Stacy… you’re in trouble. Oh… Stacy isn’t here today? No? Well, in that case, I’ll just leave a sticky on her desk for her return.
Guy in next cubicle: Dude, that’s disgusting.
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: Marko
Window washer #1, singing: I will survive, I will survive!
Window washer #2: Yehaw, that’s right, we will survive!
Window washer #1, singing: As long as I know how to wash I know I’ll stay alive.
Window washer #2: Stay alive! That’s the deal, yeeehaw!!
Jackson
Seattle, Washington
UPS guy: I can only speak for the Portuguese consulate…
Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Manager #1: The new girl is Asian? Ooooh, fucky-sucky, long time!
Manager #2: I’ll have someone else show her around.
Manager #1, as manager #2 leaves office: It’s not harassment if you’re joking!
Circle Center Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
CSR, on speakerphone: And where would you like this order shipped?
Secretary: 123 Main St.*, Los Alamos, New Mexico.
CSR : We don’t ship out of the country.
Secretary: That’s fine, but this address is in the country.
CSR : No, you said to ship it to New Mexico.
Secretary: Yes, New Mexico is a state in the US.
CSR : Sorry, but we can’t ship out of the US.
Secretary: Do you have a supervisor I can talk to, please?
[Long pause.]CSR supervisor: This is Tim. Can I help you?
Secretary: I hope so, Tim. Your employee doesn’t seem to understand that New Mexico is a state in the United States, and so refuses to ship me your product.
Supervisor: Well, that’s true. We can’t ship out of the country. I’m sorry ma’am.
Secretary, raising her voice a little: Have you never even heard of the state of New Mexico? It’s one of the big, square ones? It’s right between Texas and Arizona? It’s one of the 50 United States?
Supervisor: I’m sorry, it’s just our policy not to ship out of the US.
Secretary: Tim, let me get this straight. Your company is going to lose a $14,000 order because the people in your customer service department are too moronic to know or comprehend that the state of New Mexico is a part of the United States?
Supervisor: Yes, ma’am. That’s our policy.
Secretary, completely exasperated: Well, I guess there’s nothing more to be said, is there?
Supervisor: No, ma’am. Have a nice day.
Los Alamos, New Mexico
Overheard by: New Mexican
[Whistling can be heard through a door.]Co-worker: Where’s that goddamn whistling coming from? Hello?! Stop fucking whistling! Don’t you know there are people trying to be miserable here?!
Escanaba, Michigan
Overheard by: Auds
Statistician: They’re lying. Unless everything we believe about the world is untrue.
Chelsea
New York City, New York
Girl: He broke his hand in a fit of gay!
Washington, DC
Nurse assistant to patient: Do you want corn, carrots, or peas?
Patient: Cake.
Nurse assistant: Cake isn’t a vegetable. What would you like to drink?
Patient: Cookies.
Nurse assistant: You can’t drink cookies.
St. John Hospital
Detroit, Michigan
Overheard by: I was laughing
19-year-old receptionist to middle aged salesman: I love your hat -I would totally wear it if I were drunk.
111 Street, Fort St John
British Columbia, Canadia
Overheard by: Mama C
