Body Parts

Actually, That’s What Happened to My Ankles

Sales guy: How can you sit like that? It’s disgusting.
Information specialist: I have weak ankles. I’m sorry I disgust you.
Sales guy: You don’t disgust me, just the way you sit. Besides, you’re always making fun of my women.
Information specialist: Say, do you have one of those auto-lifts in your bedroom?
Sales guy: I see what you’re saying. Because I like big women.
Information specialist: I mean, in case you get pinned or something.
Sales guy: Funny thing is, I know how to maneuver one of those, from a previous job.
Information specialist: I’ll take that as a yes.

Washington DC

Remember What a Disaster the 70's Were?

Cube rat: We had to take them off so that we could trim the bush. Because, you know, you have to trim your bush.

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Heather

…You've Sufficiently Demonstrated That You Deserve the Job

Mail guy: Okay, that's the last I want to see of your chest.

Manhattan, New York

Whose Brilliant Idea Was It to Give Lighters to the Fifth Graders' Caucus?

Boss: If they're not burning their boobs on strippers, they're running off to the school board office!

Belle Chasse Highway
New Orleans, Louisiana

Overheard by: needs more coffee

At Least Our Society's Learned from That Richard Gere Story.

Office monkey #1: I am so mad at John. I just scheduled three meetings for him on Thursday morning. Don't ask me how I pulled that rabbit out of my ass!
Office monkey #2: Wow…where'd you get the expression “pulling a rabbit out of your ass?”
Office monkey #1: Because pulling a rabbit out of a hat is easy!

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Wondering how to pull a rabbit out…

Why Jack Daniels Exists.

CSM, on holiday preparations: My family makes me want to smuggle drugs in my ass.

Hailey, Idaho

And Rain Man Could Tell Me How Many There Were

Coworker dissing fire-making skills on Survivor: I would learn to light a fire before I went. I would have to stick the matches up my cooch.

Portland, Oregon

Not Having to Listen to Cher Is Worth Paying Out-of-Pocket.

Male employee, angry about benefits: So my live-in girlfriend is not a domestic partner but Steve's* boyfriend is?
HR generalist: Yes, that's right. Domestic partners are same sex partners, that is the policy.
Male employee: So if my girlfriend became my boyfriend I could put her on my insurance?
HR generalist: Yes, if she grows a penis and discovers a deep abiding love for Cher, she can be on your insurance.
Male employee: Really?
HR generalist: (sighs)

Skokie, Illinois

And Then I’ll Jump… Weee!

Female coworker #1: Are you going to sign up for a mammogram next week?
Female coworker #2: Yeah, I guess so. Are you?
Female coworker #1: Yep. I just hope they are more gentle than last year.
Female coworker #2: Well, they will have to use a bungee cord to get mine up on that ledge.

5950 Grassy Creek Boulevard
Winston-Salem, North Carolina

Overheard by: Kelly

The Eternal Question.

Man to friend: Whatever happened to good old-fashion cock? (turns to customer) Can I help you?

Wayme New Jersy

Overheard by: anthony

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