UPS guy: Here are your packages.
Secretary: Are you looking at my twins? (about photo of twin granddaughters)
UPS guy: Uh, no, time to go!
Manchester, New Hampshire
UPS guy: Here are your packages.
Secretary: Are you looking at my twins? (about photo of twin granddaughters)
UPS guy: Uh, no, time to go!
Manchester, New Hampshire
Female cube dweller to another: I'll grab your pair and you'll grab my pair and we'll slap each other in the face with them.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: erak
Boss to employee: Read between my lips.
Queens, New York
Overheard by: Socket
Female CSR: I'd throw something at you, but all I have on my desk is a stapler and a scone. I'm not gonna throw the stapler 'cause I don't want to injure you and the scone is just out of the question.
Male CSR #1: Yeah, that's why I confiscate stuff.
Male CSR #2: Yeah, he took my balls.
San Diego, California
Coworker to another: If your balls were full of oxygen and my wife were drowning, she'd rather die than suck on your balls.
Durham, North Carolina
Coworker #1: With all the rain we've been getting, I bet the streams are running full.
Coworker #2: That depends on how much beaver action there's been. (pause) Did I seriously just say that?
Colchester, Vermont
Overheard by: hddesc
Coworker, in graphic design lab: Now I have balls in my ass, too!
Utica, New York
Overheard by: dont wanna know
Attorney: A partner just caught me licking yogurt off my sweater.
Clerk: You’re definitely getting another raise.
Attorney: It was right on the boob.
Clerk: Wow, a raise and a bonus. You’re a real go-getter.
717 Madison Place NW
Washington, DC
Talent to just-out-of-high-school intern: You should do porn. You have the body for it.
Irving, Texas
Overheard by: we don't have HR issues
Young admin, talking about boyfriend who just moved: Yeah, but I'm really good with long distance relationships.
Manger: So you say, but haven't you cheated on all your exes so far?
Young admin: Um, yeah…technically.
Manger: So basically you just always find someone to fill the hole when they're gone. Shit! I mean void…I *so* didn't mean it like that!
Santa Maria, California
