Female cashier: Hey, is that your purple car out there?
Stock dude: Yeah, it is. The chicks love it.
Female cashier: I like it. I want a purple Probe.
Stock dude: Yeah…I heard that about you.
436 Southbridge Street
Auburn, Massachusetts
Overheard by: I heard that too.
Boss to coworker: “Booger” is a good word. So is “butthole.” That one makes me laugh.
Ojai, California
Coworker: Did you know Tom* was fired?
Boss: I guess he was bolivious to the the fact he just didn't have the education to keep up with the workload.
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: stuckinacube
Coworker: Hey, Sarah, how's your grammar?
Sarah: My grandma? She died two years ago. Why?
Newcastle
England
Executive secretary: Well, we might be a scent-free workplace, but we are certainly not a stink-free workplace.
Topeka, Kansas
Overheard by: Denise
Office lady: I’m off to the bathroom! I couldn’t get the poop du jour out before work this morning!
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: please hold while I alert the media
Supervisor to manager: You know I’m leaving work early today, right?
Manager: That’s right… For what, again?
Supervisor: I’m getting my cat shaved.
(pause)
Supervisor: My cat… like, our pet cat. A feline.
Ambassador East Hotel
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: laughing one cubicle over
Tween girl: I wonder if these shorts will fit? I’m just going to try them on right here.
Girl’s father: Why don’t you go in a dressing room, honey? For God’s sake, have some modesty.
Tween girl: What’s modesty?
Moe’s Sport Shop
711 North University
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Engineer #1: Drew*, you’re having corned beef again?
Team leader: Yeah, I got a big piece of it and cooked it all at once.
Engineer #2: Did you get it at Costco? It’s real cheap there.
Team leader: Yeah, but the thing that sucks is it shrinks when you put it in the oven. You’re thinking you have a big piece of meat, and then you pull it out and you’re all disappointed.
Deer Park, Illinois
Overheard by: office peon/cubicle monkey
Sales rep: Why didn't you say “woo-hoo”? Is it not big enough for you?
Assistant manager: Woo-hoo! There, you happy?
Sales rep: Yes.
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
