Co-worker on phone: Ma’am, my language will not improve. If a mugger knocked me over the head and stole my wallet, I would speak to him pretty harshly to say the least. So don’t expect me to talk professionally to you.
1910 South Highland Avenue
Lombard, Illinois
Co-worker on phone: Isn’t someone’s name Forehand on the committee? It could be Foreskin.
3750 Market Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Marketing Director: So as we can see, it’s going to be effective with a capital A!
2815 NW 13th Street
Gainesville, Florida
Overheard by: The Evil Overlord
Co-worker #1: What’s SAS like?
Co-worker #2: It’s sassy!
600 Alexander Park
Princeton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Philly Cynics
Developer #1: Ooh, a SOAP exception.
Developer #2: “SOAP exception, unable to shower.”
1601 Chestnut Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Employee #1: Do you know how much these master cylinder gland nuts cost?
Employee #2: What,we are selling the gland nuts by themselves now? They are usually attached to the master cylinder…
Employee #3: I’d say gland nuts attachd to the master cylinder are priceless.
13601 FM 529
Houston, Texas
Co-worker #1: I just got tricked into using a pen that shocked me!
Co-worker #2: Oh, no. You okay?
Co-worker #1: Well, shocking throws off your electroids…
Co-worker #2: Electroids? What are those?
Co-worker #1: …Well, electroid is not in here, but this is an old dictionary.
600 Willowbrook Office Park
Fairport, New York
Co-worker #1: Hey, Tex.
Co-worker #2: Why are you calling me Tex?
Co-worker #1: You are walking funny, like a Texan.
Co-worker #2: Oh yeah, my knees are sore.
Co-worker #1: Is it quarterly review time already?
80 South Street
Hopkinton, Massachusetts
Worker #1: So how is the database server test going?
Junior Manager: Great! That new machine is going like gang bangers!
Worker #2: He, he…”gang bangers”.
Junior Manager: Damn! You know what I meant.
Worker #1: Well…I guess they do work pretty hard.
13571 Commerce Parkway
Richmond, British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: Richard Shoehorn
Vice Principal: Hey there, did you get my email?
Teacher: No, I didn’t…
Vice Principal: Wow, and I sent it to both [Ed Hildick]s so you’d be sure to get it.
Teacher: Yeah…but my name is [Jeff].
901 Locust Street
Herndon, Virginia
