Tech Support: Okay, I need you to go to a command prompt and type
“‘mail from:’ your email address” and this should get you a connection.
User: It didn’t work.
Tech Support: Okay, so you typed “‘mail from:’ your email address” and it didn’t work for you?
User: Wait a minute. Did you say you wanted me to type “nail” or “mail”?
1010 Niagara Street
Buffalo, New York
Marketing Manager: We have to prepare for the unexpected. For example, there was the one time last summer when AT&T went down on me for five painful hours, and there was just nothing we could do about it.
111 River Street
Hoboken, New Jersey
Peon: Well, you know as they say, “Necessity is the mother of all invention.”
Boss: That’s cool, did you just make that up?
800 E. 28th Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: jearu
Supervisor: We have to use E. G.
Co-worker: “E. G.”?
Supervisor: Yeah, engineering judgment.
20000 Rotunda Drive
Dearborn, Michigan
Receptionist: Argh! My arm is so itchy. I’m, like, allergic to work!
Co-worker: Stop scratching; you are making it worse! At lunch, go
and get an antihistamine to stop the swelling.
Receptionist: Antihistamine or antiinflammatory? I think it’s
inflamed. What’s the difference anyway?
Co-worker: Antihistamine is something that is not histamine, and
antiinflammatory is something that’s not inflammatory.
Receptionist: So I’ll ask the chemist?
25 Parramatta Road
Underwood, Queensland
Australia
Employee on phone: Yeah, that’s a little redundant.
Boss: You can say that again.
1 Whitehall Street
New York, NY
District Supervisor: Wait, maybe I misunderstood him, but was he saying “Bachelor’s Degree”?
Regional Manager: Actually, the words he used were “Bastard’s Degree.”
District Supervisor: Ha, ha! I thought so but I didn’t think he could be that ignorant.
Regional Manager: Well, he is a retarded ex-con with personality disorders.
District Supervisor: Yeah, you’re right.
3651 Cedarcrest Avenue
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: Joshua Carpenter
Co-worker #1: I don’t want to drive you home; it’s way out of my way. Just take the company van home.
Co-worker #2: If I had a dick I would tell you to suck it.
General Manager: Hey, not in the office.
Co-worker #2: You too.
839 Marshall Phelps Road
Windsor, Connecticut
Co-worker on phone: Ma’am, my language will not improve. If a mugger knocked me over the head and stole my wallet, I would speak to him pretty harshly to say the least. So don’t expect me to talk professionally to you.
1910 South Highland Avenue
Lombard, Illinois
Co-worker on phone: Isn’t someone’s name Forehand on the committee? It could be Foreskin.
3750 Market Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
