Boss: Thank god for Emily Five!
Coworker: What?
Boss: Thank god for Emily Five!
Coworker: Huh?
Boss: You know — the whole London terror plot thing.
Coworker: You mean, ‘MI5’?
Boss: Whatever… Thank god they were there to make sure we’re safe.
1400 16th Street
NW Washington, DC
Overheard by: Neena
Health clinic employee: That woman is one kooky cracker!
Manager: I would really appreciate it if you wouldn’t call our patients ‘kooky.’
Health clinic employee: But you and Dr. Horowitz* call patients ‘crazy’ all the time. What’s the difference between ‘kooky’ and ‘crazy’?
Manager: I just don’t want you to call our patients ‘kooky.’
Health clinic employee: It’s still alright to call them ‘crackers’ though, right?
104 Market Street
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Coworker: Yeah, I call my husband the ‘Pentecostal Pervert’! He married me when I was 13.
UC Davis Hospital
Davis, California
Female accountant: I’m allergic to chocolate.
CFO: Really? My daughter is allergic to — how does she put it — ‘Wrinkly nuts.’
7887 E Belleview Avenue
Englewood, Colorado
Overheard by: Did anyone else hear that?
Cell phone technician: This is Mariah*, how can I help you?
Customer: Yes ma’am, I just bought the Sony Exorcism phone, and…
7111 N Prince Street
Clovis, New Mexico
Overheard by: it’s a sony ERICSSON!!!! LMAO
Female coworker: What are Dick’s?
Male coworker: Oh, Dick’s are huge!
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Meghan
Coworker: Let’s go for a ride. Does your top come off?
150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut
Overheard by: smooth
Accounts payable tech: It’s the letter eight. I mean the number eight.
6430 S. Fiddler’s Green Circle
Denver, Colorado
Receptionist: She’s not here, would you like to leave her a note?
Client: I’ll just send her an email, does she have a blueberry?
Stanford, CA
Branch manager: Wiggy wiggy wiggy wuzza wuzza wiggy. Wiggy!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
