Coworker on phone: I made some really good roasted vegetables with polenta last night, you should have been there. (pause) No, that's a placenta.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Shannon
Coworker on phone: I made some really good roasted vegetables with polenta last night, you should have been there. (pause) No, that's a placenta.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Shannon
Customer on phone: Can I get reimbursed for herbal remedies through my flexible spending account?
CSR #1: No. Holocaustic medicines are not eligible for reimbursement unless you receive them as part of doctor’s visit.
CSR #2: I think you meant holistic.
CSR #1: Whatever. Same thing.
2302 International Lane
Madison, Wisconsin
Desk drone to janitor: What's up, Kevin?
Janitor: Not much, 'cept me, maybe.
Lebanon, New Hampshire
Sarge: Well… you could also use it literally like: “If I fucked your mother. I would be a motherfucker.”
Academy Street
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: Shaye
Coworker to boss: Wait, rewind. I didn't understand what you said.
Boss: Blahdebludebloop! That was me rewinding.
Littleton, New Hampshire
Cube rat girl: You’ve really contributed to my progress as a human being. Like, I’ve learned all these new terms from you. Like ‘owned,’ and ‘oh, word?’ And ‘meh’!
Cube rat guy: See? So what would your life be like without me?
Cube rat girl: Well, I think pretty much the same, but with a few less words.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Parts store clerk #1 to parts store clerk #2: I don't know about taking this test. These words they use, I don't know where they get these words from. Maybe it's just me, cause I'm from the South.
Customer, chuckling: Them can't be real words, can they?
Parts clerk #1: No.
Parts clerk #2: You're just way too country to take that test.
Decatur, Tennessee
Boss: And I would bet my… um… pencil, on that. Wait… what do they say?
Grad student: Ass. You'd bet your ass on that.
Boss: Oh, no. I don't want to bet that. I'll bet my favorite pencil.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Worker #1: There he goes, tossing his salad again. Isn’t that a phrase? Doesn’t that mean something? “Tossing the salad”?
Temp: Yes, it’s a phrase.
Worker #1: But what does it mean? Is it like, “I’m gonna kick your ass”? “I’m gonna toss your salad”?
Temp: Um, not exactly.
Worker #2: Yeah, I’ve heard that, too. What does that mean? Do you know?
Temp: Yes, I know, but it’s kind of inappropriate for work.
Worker #1: Oh really? What does it mean?
Temp: It’s inappropriate for work.
Worker #1: Oh come on, just tell me.
Temp: Well, it’s…analingus.
Worker #1: Oh. Really?
Worker #2: I never heard that.
Worker #1: “I’m gonna toss your salad”. Huh.
Worker #3: …If anyone was made uncomfortable by this conversation, come talk to me later.
900 3rd Avenue
New York, NY
