Dude: Do you know where your wife is?
Sarge: How the fuck are you gonna walk in here on a Thursday morning, come in my fucking office, see that I'm in the middle of writing a fucking important letter, and ask me where the fuck someone else in this fucking building is. I'm sorry, where the fuck do you see a babysitter sign on my desk?
Dude: I'm sorry, I just…
Sarge: Where the fuck do you see it? Where's the fucking sign?
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: Shaye
Female CSR holding stack of papers to male CSR staring at empty printer tray: Hey, Scott, I think I grabbed your thing!
Castle Rock, Colorado
Female sales rep: And that's Joan, j-o-a-n, not j-o-n-e.
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
Employee to boss: Would you like for me to list the listings?
Boss to employee: That's a bit redundant, don't you think?
Employee: Who you callin' retarded?!
Pennsylvania Ave
Washington, DC
Boss: Where are the nipples?
Lab employee: Nipples?
Boss: Yah, the nipples. You know, squeezie squeezie?
Lab employee: Do you mean pipette bulbs?
Boss: Whatever.
6275 Nancy Ridge Drive
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Meghan Lake
Peon #1: Where did this ball come from? Is this your ball?
Peon #2: It's not mine. I haven't touched my balls in a long time.
Los Alamitos, California
Overheard by: Jen
Professor #1, referring to box on front desk: What is that?
Assistant: Tetramethylammonium hydroxide.
Professor #1: What?
Professor #2: It's just a bomb.
Wichita, Kansas
Overheard by: Listening for Ticking
Female account manager: Kevin*, maybe you know this. I've been asking everyone and no one wants to tell me. What is a “pearl necklace?”
Kevin* (gay HR director): Oh, boy. Shut the door, please.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Juan Chung
Manager: We’re hiring another producer in Quebec. And one thing that I think we all agree on is that his English has to be very, very well.
180 Varick Street
New York, New York
