Religion

CSR: No, you aren't going to find Jesus until you stop being gay. Just remember to do your affirmations every day, and Jesus will appear to you (signals with hand) and let you know when to stop doing them.

Tulsa, Oklahoma

Overheard by: VINCENT B.

Reviewer: They think their coach is the second coming of Jesus.
Partner: If Jesus was a football coach, he would have coached at Alabama.

Birmingham, Alabama

Overheard by: bamalama

IT guy: Dude, your computer is so messed up! I just don't know what's going on here!
Engineer: I probably should have told you this before, but my computer rests on top of an ancient Indian burial site, so you are probably going to need a priest.

Ladson, South Carolina

Shipping manager: What's wrong with you, little bit? I ain't seen you smile all day.
Short order entry lady: I got my period, so I'm in a bad mood.
Shipping manager: Well, you need to shake it off! Shake the devil off ya!

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Doesn't have the Devil in her

Co-worker on phone: Well, when I asked you over for lunch I asked if there was something you didn’t eat besides cheese…Well I’m just saying you should have told me you didn’t eat pork when I asked…Yes, I know you’re Jewish…Well whatever you are, you’re an idiot and a liar. You should have told me about the pork…Ew, she’s your first cousin.

622 3rd Avenue
New York, NY

Sales rep: The one thing I did not understand about that movie The Passion of The Christ is, if Christ came back from the dead… How did he die the second time?
Catholic manager: Ever hear of the Nicene creed?
Sales rep: No.
Catholic manager, sighing: Congestive heart failure.

Sunbury, Pennsylvania

Student teacher #1: I have to write a unit on the book My Side of the Mountain.
Student teacher #2: What? Why are you teaching something called “mindset of a nun” to your kids?

Ford City, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Lyndsay

Boss on phone: Do you think when Jesus comes back he wants to see himself on the cross? It's like going up to Jackie O with a rifle on a chain and saying, “I'm remembering JFK!”

Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Ren

Young phone monkey: Do Canadians celebrate Christmas?
Older phone monkey: Jesus Christ!

Gran Park
Orlando, Florida

CSR: Okay, is there anything else?
Underling: No that's it.
CRS: Okay… you have a good day.
Underling: You have a winning day with Jesus!
CSR: Uh… sure, you too.

Atlanta, Georgia