Religion

Reviewer: They think their coach is the second coming of Jesus.
Partner: If Jesus was a football coach, he would have coached at Alabama.

Birmingham, Alabama

Overheard by: bamalama

IT guy: Dude, your computer is so messed up! I just don't know what's going on here!
Engineer: I probably should have told you this before, but my computer rests on top of an ancient Indian burial site, so you are probably going to need a priest.

Ladson, South Carolina

Shipping manager: What's wrong with you, little bit? I ain't seen you smile all day.
Short order entry lady: I got my period, so I'm in a bad mood.
Shipping manager: Well, you need to shake it off! Shake the devil off ya!

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Doesn't have the Devil in her

Co-worker on phone: Well, when I asked you over for lunch I asked if there was something you didn’t eat besides cheese…Well I’m just saying you should have told me you didn’t eat pork when I asked…Yes, I know you’re Jewish…Well whatever you are, you’re an idiot and a liar. You should have told me about the pork…Ew, she’s your first cousin.

622 3rd Avenue
New York, NY

Sales rep: The one thing I did not understand about that movie The Passion of The Christ is, if Christ came back from the dead… How did he die the second time?
Catholic manager: Ever hear of the Nicene creed?
Sales rep: No.
Catholic manager, sighing: Congestive heart failure.

Sunbury, Pennsylvania

Student teacher #1: I have to write a unit on the book My Side of the Mountain.
Student teacher #2: What? Why are you teaching something called “mindset of a nun” to your kids?

Ford City, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Lyndsay

Boss on phone: Do you think when Jesus comes back he wants to see himself on the cross? It's like going up to Jackie O with a rifle on a chain and saying, “I'm remembering JFK!”

Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Ren

Young phone monkey: Do Canadians celebrate Christmas?
Older phone monkey: Jesus Christ!

Gran Park
Orlando, Florida

CSR: Okay, is there anything else?
Underling: No that's it.
CRS: Okay… you have a good day.
Underling: You have a winning day with Jesus!
CSR: Uh… sure, you too.

Atlanta, Georgia

Office guy, referring to crucifixion reenactment on tv: They are fighting over who gets nailed.

Sydney
Australia

Overheard by: SDP