Devout drinker: So if you think about it… Moses would want you to be drunk right now.
1 University Station
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Converting to Judaism
Devout drinker: So if you think about it… Moses would want you to be drunk right now.
1 University Station
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Converting to Judaism
Employee #1: Well, we already live together.
Employee #2: Oooh, living in sin!
Employee #3: Jesus won’t be happy with you.
Employee #1: Well, I’m Jewish, so Jesus already isn’t too happy with me.
Employee #3: That’s true.
Employee #1: I think when I get married under a chuppah, he might get upset!
Employee #2: Jesus was Jewish, though.
Employee #3: Jesus was also a carpenter.
1500 Broadway
New York, New York
Teacher: “Uncertain.” What does “uncertain” mean?
7-Year-Old boy: Like you’re not sure about it?
Teacher: Good! What’s an example of something you’re uncertain about?
7-Year-Old boy, after thinking for a moment: God.
1554 Sepulveda Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Manager on phone: She was a nun. No, she was a nun! She was a nun! She was! She was a nun! A nun!!
330 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Director: If I mail underwear, I’ll get fired.
Direct mail department of a conservative Catholic organization
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Chuckles to Himself
Employee #1: I don’t believe in God. I believe in ghosts, but not God.
Employee #2: What about aliens?
Employee #1: Oh, totally!
Boss: Don’t you guys have something more important to be doing?
Employee #2: I have about 1,000 other things to do. None of them is more important than this.
2223 East Speedway
Tucson, Arizona
CSR to manager: Sometimes there is a fine line between making people happy and getting them to shut up.
1300 Arlington
Itasca, Illinois
Employee #1: Stop flinging eyedrops on me!
Employee #2: I am trying to exorcise the demons in you.
Bldg 5302 Sparkman Circle
Redstone Arsenal, Alabama
Cube #1: It’s so cloudy out today; is there an Armageddon scheduled that I didn’t know about?
Cube #2: I think it’s supposed to rain.
Cube #1: Well, since you’re closest to the window it’s your responsibility to inform the rest of us if the rain contains a plague of locusts. Tough break, but that’s the responsibility that comes with good cubicle location.
1944 East Sky Harbor Circle
Phoenix, Arizona
Assistant #1: So you are Jewish, right? That means you have to eat kosher food and not meat?
Assistant #2: Yes, I have to eat Kosher but I can still eat meat. I just choose to be vegetarian.
Assistant #1: That sucks you can’t eat meat. I really love salmon.
69 Bloor Street East
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
