Exasperated meeting contact: I think the temp I hired is mildly retarded, so I’m going to need your help with this.
Concierge: My mother drank and smoked while pregnant with me.
Penn and Liberty Avenues
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Exasperated meeting contact: I think the temp I hired is mildly retarded, so I’m going to need your help with this.
Concierge: My mother drank and smoked while pregnant with me.
Penn and Liberty Avenues
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Worker: Hey, Cheryl*, do you know where the Tylenol is?
Receptionist: It should be under the fax machine. Do you have a headache?
Worker (nonchalantly): No, my balls really hurt today.
Receptionist (after long pause): Oh.
Omaha, Nebraska
Receptionist, answering phone: Good afternoon, how can I help you? (pause) I'm sorry, she no longer works at this office. (hangs up phone)
Receptionist to executive secretary: It was for you.
New York City, New York
Telephone receptionist, over intercom system: I need Dick on line three, Dick on line three!
Bank
Kentucky
Overheard by: will1966
Receptionist to coworker: My whiney-ass husband was complaining that he slit his hand open.
Portsmouth, New Hampshire
Skinny middle-aged man to large middle-aged receptionist: May I borrow your phone?
Receptionist: Sure, sugar.
Skinny middle-aged man, after calmly speaking with another doctor: And when I get there, I'm going to crap on your desk! (to receptionist) Thank you for letting me borrow your phone.
Receptionist: You're welcome, sugar.
Gastroenterology Office
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: the intern
Assistant: I went to the grocery store this past weekend. Do you know my kids drank five two-liters of Pepsi since then? Three and a half kids drank five bottles of Pepsi.
Sales guy: What’d you do with the other half a kid? … That must have been awful!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Doctor: What the hell is that? I've never heard of it.
Receptionist: Uh, the rep just wanted me to tell you it's free.
Doctor: Well–sign me up, then find out what it's all about.
Springhill
Brisbane
Australia
Overheard by: PsychKat
Accounting Clerk on phone: I’m sorry, she no longer works here. Could I take a message?
3850 Three Mile Lane
McMinnville, Oregon
Boss: It’s such a nice day and nothing is happening in here…I think I’m going to leave.
Employee #1: That sounds good. Can I leave, too?
Boss: Sure.
Employee #2: And me?
Boss: If you want. Hey, [Erica]! If the phone rings, then just–
Clerk: Wait, you’re all going to leave me here by myself and you expect me to actually do shit? Fuck you.
101 Braddock Road
Frostburg, Maryland
Overheard by: Ren
