Female employee: What the hell is she fussing at? He’s only two years older than her. If he’s old, she’s old!
Office manager: She’s just trying to ruffle your feathers.
Sales guy: You should tell her your husband can beat up her husband.
Assistant: Which one? She’s got a couple.
Female employee: Hey!
Sales guy: Haha, I forgot she’s got like three husbands now.
Female employee: I hate you guys.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Receptionist: Yeah, but if you say that then you’re being illogical–
Exec: Ah, that’s your problem, you’ve brought logic into the argument.
Receptionist: Um…
271 Rathdowne Street
Carlton, Victoria
Australia
Secretary: Bye, guys. See you tomorrow.
Worker #1: Who the fuck was that?
Worker #2: The new sales secretary; she took [Carrie]’s place.
Worker #1: Who the fuck is [Carrie]?
Worker #2: She took over for [Gretchen].
Worker #1: Oh, hell. I don’t care about chicks’ names. I only care if I’m sleeping with them. And then sometimes I have to get up and check their purse for ID.
1313 North Industrial Boulevard
Dallas, Texas
Young male intern (serious): You know, since I've been sober, my photography is way better.
Young female receptionist: You were drunk at my party three days ago.
Young male intern: I was?
Roan Street
Johnson City, Tennessee
Doctor: Who is that?
Assistant: It’s Dr. Smith, he wants to know if you are going to the meeting.
Doctor: What, I can’t go to the bathroom first? Tell ’em I’m peeing.
York Ave
New York, New York
Overheard by: the other assistant
Exasperated meeting contact: I think the temp I hired is mildly retarded, so I’m going to need your help with this.
Concierge: My mother drank and smoked while pregnant with me.
Penn and Liberty Avenues
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Worker: Hey, Cheryl*, do you know where the Tylenol is?
Receptionist: It should be under the fax machine. Do you have a headache?
Worker (nonchalantly): No, my balls really hurt today.
Receptionist (after long pause): Oh.
Omaha, Nebraska
Receptionist, answering phone: Good afternoon, how can I help you? (pause) I'm sorry, she no longer works at this office. (hangs up phone)
Receptionist to executive secretary: It was for you.
New York City, New York
Telephone receptionist, over intercom system: I need Dick on line three, Dick on line three!
Bank
Kentucky
Overheard by: will1966
Receptionist to coworker: My whiney-ass husband was complaining that he slit his hand open.
Portsmouth, New Hampshire
