Receptionist to trainee: Oh, you asked about the dead rabbit in my car. It’s for Yolanda, her dad wanted it.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Receptionist to trainee: Oh, you asked about the dead rabbit in my car. It’s for Yolanda, her dad wanted it.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Receptionist: Cindy's at lunch. I can give you her voice mail.
Woman on phone: Oh…is this her voice mail?
Receptionist (after long, disbelieving pause): One…moment…
Boston, Massachusetts
Executive secretary, as she leaves a “Respect in the Workplace” class, to male worker: You’ve lost six in a week!? You’re disappearing! Anymore and there will be nothing to grab on to!
South Park Circle Office
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Megalicious
Receptionist: That goes on my to-do list right below having sex with a midget.
Madison, South Dakota
Receptionist: I found out that I can't go to Disney World because I have a paper due that week and I don't want to miss 100 points.
Boss (who is rather overweight and old): That is really too bad but I mean, I'll go in your place.
Receptionist: Only if you get Mickey Mouse ears and go to the castle and have dinner with the princesses.
Boss: Sure. I'll be the best fucking princess those bitches have ever seen!
Bellingham, Washington
Biller: Um, you know maintenance guys are working in our bathrooms and there is a line of people waiting in the hallway bathroom? Could you, like, do something about it?
Receptionist: Uh, sure, I’ll get right on that for you.
Biller: I’ll just go back to my desk and pee in my trash can.
1200 Princess Anne Street
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Elderly secretary: His friend looked like…you know…one of those people who blow up planes.
3 Five Point Road
Freehold, New Jersey
Overheard by: Robert Freeman
Suit: Your last name is Smith. Are you related to a Nelson Smith?
Clerk: No, Smith is my marriage name. That reminds me; I need to file for divorce.
3 2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Warehouse manager: Anyone seen Joe*?
Office manager: I don’t know where he is. He sent me an email at 2:03, so he’s at a computer somewhere.
Sales guy: I haven’t seen him in a while.
Office manager: I bet he went home and he’s sending these emails from the web-mail!
Assistant: No, I went out to the warehouse not long ago and passed him on my way out there. He didn’t look very happy though.
Sales guy: Why don’t you bake him a birthday cake?
Assistant: But it’s not his birthday!
Sales guy: It doesn’t matter. Birthday cakes make everyone feel better.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Secretary on phone: Hi, I have tried twice now to establish myself as the main contact person for our firm with your company via your online customer service, and it still won’t change the name…Yes, and I’m considering legally changing my name to [Nathan Blumenthal] because apparently that would be easier than getting it changed with your printing service.
19 South LaSalle Street
Chicago, Illinois
