He’s the Best Lower Body Surgeon in the State

Boss on phone: Yeah, you’re a client, but if you don’t pay your bills, you’re only half a client… And not the half I want.

473 Central Avenue
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: web edit monkey

Posted on July 18, 2015
Gripes, Illinois, Money, On the phone, Smart Bosses

Talking to Voicemail Will Do This to You

Assistant on phone: Do you sell custom rings? Rings, yes… Rings. Rings! Rings… For fingers… Rings for fingers! You are a jewelry store, right? Rings… Rings!

Talent Management company
Beverly Hills, California

Posted on July 18, 2015
California, General Idiocy, On the phone, Physical Appearance, Questions, Receptionists

Yeah, I've Got Millions of Dollars in a Bank Account for Them

Administrative assistant on phone: I was just calling because I have seventy five Nigerians in need of a campus tour, and I know you're good at that sort of thing.

University of Notre Dame, Indiana

Posted on July 15, 2015
Default, Education, Employees, Indiana, Offers and requests, On the phone

And No Time for Breeder Drama

Large lesbo on cell: What’s new with me? Oh, nothing too much. Oh wait — yeah, I got a new dog! Yeah, another one. Well, my neighbor was killed in a murder-suicide with her boyfriend, so the dog had post-traumatic stress disorder. Oh, it’s a Irish Settler. It’s pretty cute… A little overweight, though. Besides that, not too much. You know me — work, work, work.

Marriot Hotel Concierge VIP room
Houston, Texas

Overheard by: Miguelito Morrison

Posted on July 14, 2015
Animals, Compliments, Coworkers, Crazies, Crimes, Death, Diet & Weight, Health & Hygiene, On the phone, Texas

Sometimes Customer Service Is Difficult to Stomach

Sales clerk on phone: So the reason I lost the baby was because he punched me in the stomach. Yes, girl! The police don't just investigate innocent people like that. (looks at coming customer) I'll call you back. (slams phone) Can I help you?

Tallahassee, Florida

Overheard by: AP