…Come by the Office Later and I'll Give You a Check.

Female executive VP on phone son: I'm not giving you money today. I'm not giving it to you. I'm not giving it to you. I'm not giving it to you. (pause) Michael, did you hear what I just said? I'm not giving you any money today. I'm. Not. Giving. You. Any. Money. Today. (pause) I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I said I'm sorry. (pause) Yes, I'm serious. I gave you $50 yesterday and I said it had to last you until Friday. You're 21. You're 21. Get a job. (pause) I'm not giving you money today. Okay, bye. (pause) I love you too.

Montclair, New Jersey

Posted on July 26, 2015
Age and ageing, Executives, Family, Family members, Feelings, Money, New Jersey, On the phone

The Best Part Is, She Means Martin Luther King Day.

Loud, annoying girl on phone trying to sound important: No, no, no! We can't do April 22nd, we're closed for black Friday!

Manhattan, New York

Posted on July 26, 2015
General Idiocy, Holidays, New York, Office Politics, On the phone

1PM Pick Up Facsimiles

Co-worker on phone: I will send it V. I. A. fax.

285 Primrose Lane
Fairfield, Connecticut

Posted on July 25, 2015
Connecticut, Coworkers, On the phone, Technology, Words

No Grand Opening Will Succeed Without Considerable Foreplay

Project manager on phone: You're right. That is what he wants. He wants a soft opening.

Austin, Texas

Posted on July 24, 2015
Bosses, On the phone, Texas, Wishes

Sadly, I Suffer from Soap-Opera-Induced Amnesia

Receptionist: Thank you for calling XYZ Inc*.
Customer: Yes, I just received a call from this number on my phone. Who are you again?
Receptionist: XYC Inc. Do you..?
Customer: Oh, yeah! I ordered from you guys! Did my order come in yet?
Receptionist: I have no idea sir. What is y…
Customer: Oh, you probably need my name, huh?
Receptionist: That would help.

San Diego, California

Overheard by: Cat

Posted on July 22, 2015
California, Customers, General Idiocy, Names, On the phone, Questions, Receptionists

9AM TGIF

Co-worker on phone: I have a trailer to be picked up…Yes, it is ready now. It’s in a parking lot. You know, where cars park.

33 Shaws Lane
Springfield, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Disgruntled Cube Tenant

Posted on July 19, 2015
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Massachusetts, Offers and requests, On the phone

The Way to a Lawyer's Heart

Attorney on phone: I don't ever want you to be afraid to clamp down on my boys.

Durango, Colorado

Posted on July 19, 2015
Advice, Colorado, Lawyers, Office Politics, On the phone, Possible Sexual Harassment

I Told You That Was a Crappy Name for a Football Team

Suit on cell: The fog is coming. The fog. I can see it. The fog is coming. The fog.

Oakland, California

Posted on July 18, 2015
California, On the phone, Sensory Experiences, Suits, Weather, Weirdness

He’s the Best Lower Body Surgeon in the State

Boss on phone: Yeah, you’re a client, but if you don’t pay your bills, you’re only half a client… And not the half I want.

473 Central Avenue
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: web edit monkey

Posted on July 18, 2015
Gripes, Illinois, Money, On the phone, Smart Bosses

Talking to Voicemail Will Do This to You

Assistant on phone: Do you sell custom rings? Rings, yes… Rings. Rings! Rings… For fingers… Rings for fingers! You are a jewelry store, right? Rings… Rings!

Talent Management company
Beverly Hills, California

Posted on July 18, 2015
California, General Idiocy, On the phone, Physical Appearance, Questions, Receptionists

On the phone