Trim female coworker: How was your weekend?
Overweight female coworker: It was okay… Ooh! I thought of you yesterday. I was taking a bath…
Broad Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Trim female coworker: How was your weekend?
Overweight female coworker: It was okay… Ooh! I thought of you yesterday. I was taking a bath…
Broad Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Employee on phone: My buddy just told me this story about how his wife was so drunk last weekend in a high-end club in the Hamptons, and she ran to the bathroom to puke but never fully made it to the toilet. On top of that, as she was puking everywhere, turns out she was also shitting herself. So now the whole club had to be closed down because it smelled like shit and puke. Isn’t that hysterical?
Boss walks in.
Employee to boss: Hey, do you know this club?
Boss: Yeah, I actually went there last Saturday night, but we left immediately because it smelled like shit and vomit.
60th Street & Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: holding-it-in
Peon #1: Did they steam clean our chairs this weekend like they were supposed to?
Peon #2: Doesn't smell like it.
Richmond, Virginia
Sales guy #1: You know, this hand sanitizer stuff. Can you like.. wash with it?
Uncertain silence.
Sales guy #1: Like, wash your whole body?
Sales guy #2: Well, you’re going to need a bigger bottle.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Coworker #1 to coworker #2, wearing a cast: What did you do to your hand?
Coworker #2: I broke my thumb.
Coworker #1: You need your thumb. That's what makes you not a monkey!
Titusville, Florida
Overheard by: Hoss
Male coworker to female coworker: So, did you have the diarrhea before lunch or after lunch?
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Joel
Tech illiterate office guy: Phil, how do you lubricate the internet?
Sydney
Australia
Coworker: Treat yourself and your vag — get a pap.
Austin, Texas
Co-worker: She said I was giving her an ulcer…But I don’t even have ulcers!
1127 Euclid Avenue
Cleveland, Ohio
Woman trainer: The system is down today. I think I might go get a mammogram instead of working.
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Patrick
